Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 509

benham · 03-19-2014, 03:21 PM

Shoe

steven522 · 03-19-2014, 04:41 PM

George is home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies there.

George: "Is there is a problem, officers?"

Deputy: "Sir, are you married?"

George: "Yes, I am."

Deputy: "May we see a picture of your wife, sir?"

George: "Sure, I have one right here."

George hands over a photo of his wife. The two deputies take a moment to look it over and then nod to each other.

Deputy: "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, sir. But it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck."

George: "Yeah, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook."

BenG · 03-19-2014, 11:53 PM

...with 400 children and a crop in the field.

cromag · 03-20-2014, 12:50 AM

Big wheel keep on turnin' ... please!

Stitchawl · 03-20-2014, 09:32 AM

Policeman came to my door the other day, and said;
'Where were you between 5 and 6?'
I replied; 'Kindergarten' and he got angry. Can you imagine?

Stitchawl

Glorfindel · 03-20-2014, 03:36 PM

Bookpossum · 03-20-2014, 05:36 PM

Another one for the dog people (especially water dogs):

WT Sharpe · 03-20-2014, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Another one for the dog people (especially water dogs):

Norton did that today. We've had nothing but rain and snow since forever, and today he got into some mud in the back yard, came back in and jumped up on my lap.

Know why pugs are so cute? That's so you won't kill them.

Fbone · 03-20-2014, 10:51 PM

orlok · 03-21-2014, 06:43 AM

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.

"Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2009," I informed him.

"Really?" he asked.

"No," I replied.

BenG · 03-21-2014, 12:46 PM

Fbone · 03-22-2014, 08:19 PM

samhy · 03-23-2014, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Awwwwww

orlok · 03-26-2014, 06:36 PM

cromag · 03-26-2014, 07:16 PM

So that's where it went!!!

03-20-2014, 05:36 PM	#7627
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,137 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Another one for the dog people (especially water dogs): Attached Thumbnails

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03-19-2014, 03:21 PM	#7621
benham Guru Posts: 882 Karma: 5565888 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Townsend, WI Device: Palm TX, PRS-505 (BLUE)	Shoe

03-19-2014, 04:41 PM	#7622
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	George is home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies there. George: "Is there is a problem, officers?" Deputy: "Sir, are you married?" George: "Yes, I am." Deputy: "May we see a picture of your wife, sir?" George: "Sure, I have one right here." George hands over a photo of his wife. The two deputies take a moment to look it over and then nod to each other. Deputy: "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, sir. But it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck." George: "Yeah, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook."

03-19-2014, 11:53 PM	#7623
BenG Home Guard Posts: 4,729 Karma: 86721650 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Device: Kindle Oasis 3G, iPhone 6	...with 400 children and a crop in the field.

03-20-2014, 12:50 AM	#7624
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 24,273 Karma: 459220161 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	Big wheel keep on turnin' ... please!

03-20-2014, 09:32 AM	#7625
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Policeman came to my door the other day, and said; 'Where were you between 5 and 6?' I replied; 'Kindergarten' and he got angry. Can you imagine? Stitchawl

03-20-2014, 03:36 PM	#7626
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,757 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO

03-20-2014, 10:51 PM	#7629
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus

03-21-2014, 06:43 AM	#7630
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me. "Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2009," I informed him. "Really?" he asked. "No," I replied.

03-21-2014, 12:46 PM	#7631
BenG Home Guard Posts: 4,729 Karma: 86721650 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Device: Kindle Oasis 3G, iPhone 6

03-22-2014, 08:19 PM	#7632
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,189 Karma: 100500000 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus

03-26-2014, 06:36 PM	#7634
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

03-26-2014, 07:16 PM	#7635
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 24,273 Karma: 459220161 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	So that's where it went!!!