Kids say the darndest things...

Taylor514ce · 05-02-2008, 08:48 AM

I speculate the demographic of this forum puts most of us at "child-bearing" age. This thread, inspired by a recent recollection, is for posting some of the most hilarious or profound things your own kids have said.

I offer this smattering from my own kids.

"Dad, there's golf balls the size of hell outside!"

In reply to repeated statements that his shoes were on the wrong feet, my son, completely exasperated, asked, "Well whose feet are they supposed to be on?!".

This same son at about three years of age asked me the most perplexing question I've ever pondered, more profound even then the so-called "Universal Question". With the most serious and sober expression I've ever seen, he leaned toward me from his high chair, and without taking his eyes off the subject of his dilemma, stage whispered, "Dad... is that a real clown, or just a man dressed like a clown?"

zelda_pinwheel · 05-02-2008, 08:57 AM

i have no children of my own, and i'd rather not repeat most of the things the cat says, however a friend of mine has a son who is now about 3. when he was just starting to learn his letters, one day he spelled out "chouette" (it means "owl" and is used in slang to mean "nice" or "good") : C, H, O, U, E, T, T, E.

very good, his mother told him, that spells "chouette".
no, her son replied, it spells pigeon.

Since then, when we want to say "it's nice", instead of saying "c'est chouette" we say "c'est pigeon."

Taylor514ce · 05-02-2008, 09:20 AM

Ok, ok... your own kids or "children of your acquaintance". More from my own file:

"Don't drink the water it's got ham in it." (Hint: con-tam-i-na-ted).

One child had the charming habit of picking up multisyllabic words and then using them randomly in conversation. When he described his dinner as "very sarcastic" once, I asked him if he knew what "sarcasm" was. He quickly answered, "well of course not". Of course not. Silly me.

For those of you who have become burned out on your endless Sudoku scribblings, here's a challenge: explain sarcasm to a young child. My attempt involved little Susie at the playground saying "Oh, I really like your shirt", but you knew she meant that she actually hated your shirt. Ah, the dawn of comprehension on a young boy's face!

Several days later, Mom was driving and someone cut her off. She honked and yelled, "Oh thanks a LOT!". From the back child's seat came the curious query, "Why'd you tell that car thanks?"

"I was just being sarcastic."

"Oh! I can't see his shirt from here."

NatCh · 05-02-2008, 11:05 AM

This one is in the "acquaintance" category, but it happened to my wife in a Bible class of three-year-olds she was not teaching the class, but helping -- we call it "riding herd" or being "muscle." They were talking about idols, and why they're bad (try explaining that to three-year-olds), and one of them leaned close to my wife and asked in all seriousness: "Do idols bite?"

This one happened to me while I was working at a youth camp during my college years. Junior High (11~13 years old) kids. There's a long lead up to it, but the short version is one of the little girls (11) got taken to the hospital for a cut in her scalp, and they put staples in instead of stitches.

She came up to me that evening and I asked her how she was doing, and she told me she was okay, but that they'd put staples in her scalp. Then she looked up at me (I'm 6'1" and she was about 4'6" so it was a long way up) and her face crumpled to the very brink of tears and she asks, just short of a wail of anguish: "What if they rust?"

I of course quickly reassured her that the the staples were made of stuff that wouldn't rust, and that it would be okay, and she was fine. The memory is still a touching one, even 15 years later.

Oh, dear. I just realized those "kids" are all probably grown up and married with kids of their own by now ... perhaps I need to sit down for a bit.

Lobolover · 05-02-2008, 11:08 AM

am I the only recent eighteen year old here ?

ps:I hate litle kids,I honestly,fully and resolutely DO.

Taylor514ce · 05-02-2008, 11:11 AM

Yes, this thread does have the danger of becoming unbearably touching.

My 2-year old nephew was asked who his favorite person was, and the answer was "Uncle T".

"Why?"

"He can turn me into an airplane."

Taylor514ce · 05-02-2008, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lobolover

am I the only recent eighteen year old here ?

ps:I hate litle kids,I honestly,fully and resolutely DO.

May I suggest the FireFox browser to you, which has the neat feature of underlining in red misspelled words? Also, are you aware of the "Edit" feature of the forum, to correct errors in one's posts?

As a recent eighteen year old, you are no doubt pondering additional education. As a first step in your continuing education, then, I offer the following correction:

"Am I the only recent eighteen year old here?

PS: I hate little kids, I honestly, fully, and resolutely do."

On the other hand, I give you credit for correctly using adverbs, which are on the verge of going extinct in contemporary English.

Lobolover · 05-02-2008, 11:33 AM

Taylor-do you EVER stop ?(ALL CAPS-EMPHASIS)

Alexander Turcic · 05-02-2008, 11:36 AM

Before this turns into mud-wrestling, please remember we have the ignore feature. I heard it works rather well.

Lobolover · 05-02-2008, 11:38 AM

I am trying to engage in normal dialogue with him.And he can never do that,before geting bossy.If there's a problem,it's not cause of MY disinterest or lack of patience.

NatCh · 05-02-2008, 11:49 AM

So put him on ignore: here's a link.

Lobolover · 05-02-2008, 11:53 AM

I just ask him to not do that and everything will be okay.

NatCh · 05-02-2008, 11:57 AM

Or you could put him on ignore and he could do it all day without you knowing a thing about it.

Honestly: I'd rather you each put the other on ignore so that we can have a little peace on the playground.

ProfJulie · 05-02-2008, 12:06 PM

Or you could just not wade into a thread that you have nothing to contribute to and muck it up with your stuff.

ProfJulie · 05-02-2008, 12:12 PM

I was walking down the street one day and saw a little girl, about 5, holding a hose over a car with water running all over the car. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was watering the car.

One day my dad remove the back of the television to fix a problem with it. My young brother of about 4 crowded in behind him. Exasperated, my dad said, "Jeff, What are you doing?" And my brother replied, "I want to see all the little people fall out."

05-02-2008, 08:48 AM	#1
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	Kids say the darndest things... I speculate the demographic of this forum puts most of us at "child-bearing" age. This thread, inspired by a recent recollection, is for posting some of the most hilarious or profound things your own kids have said. I offer this smattering from my own kids. "Dad, there's golf balls the size of hell outside!" In reply to repeated statements that his shoes were on the wrong feet, my son, completely exasperated, asked, "Well whose feet are they supposed to be on?!". This same son at about three years of age asked me the most perplexing question I've ever pondered, more profound even then the so-called "Universal Question". With the most serious and sober expression I've ever seen, he leaned toward me from his high chair, and without taking his eyes off the subject of his dilemma, stage whispered, "Dad... is that a real* clown, or just a man dressed like a clown?*"

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05-02-2008, 08:57 AM	#2
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	i have no children of my own, and i'd rather not repeat most of the things the cat says, however a friend of mine has a son who is now about 3. when he was just starting to learn his letters, one day he spelled out "chouette" (it means "owl" and is used in slang to mean "nice" or "good") : C, H, O, U, E, T, T, E. very good, his mother told him, that spells "chouette". no, her son replied, it spells pigeon. Since then, when we want to say "it's nice", instead of saying "c'est chouette" we say "c'est pigeon."

05-02-2008, 09:20 AM	#3
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	Ok, ok... your own kids or "children of your acquaintance". More from my own file: "Don't drink the water it's got ham in it." (Hint: con-tam-i-na-ted). One child had the charming habit of picking up multisyllabic words and then using them randomly in conversation. When he described his dinner as "very sarcastic" once, I asked him if he knew what "sarcasm" was. He quickly answered, "well of course not". Of course not. Silly me. For those of you who have become burned out on your endless Sudoku scribblings, here's a challenge: explain sarcasm to a young child. My attempt involved little Susie at the playground saying "Oh, I really like your shirt", but you knew she meant that she actually hated your shirt. Ah, the dawn of comprehension on a young boy's face! Several days later, Mom was driving and someone cut her off. She honked and yelled, "Oh thanks a LOT!". From the back child's seat came the curious query, "Why'd you tell that car thanks?" "I was just being sarcastic." "Oh! I can't see his shirt from here."

05-02-2008, 11:05 AM	#4
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	This one is in the "acquaintance" category, but it happened to my wife in a Bible class of three-year-olds she was not teaching the class, but helping -- we call it "riding herd" or being "muscle." They were talking about idols, and why they're bad (try explaining that to three-year-olds), and one of them leaned close to my wife and asked in all seriousness: "Do idols bite?" This one happened to me while I was working at a youth camp during my college years. Junior High (11~13 years old) kids. There's a long lead up to it, but the short version is one of the little girls (11) got taken to the hospital for a cut in her scalp, and they put staples in instead of stitches. She came up to me that evening and I asked her how she was doing, and she told me she was okay, but that they'd put staples in her scalp. Then she looked up at me (I'm 6'1" and she was about 4'6" so it was a long way up) and her face crumpled to the very brink of tears and she asks, just short of a wail of anguish: "What if they rust?" I of course quickly reassured her that the the staples were made of stuff that wouldn't rust, and that it would be okay, and she was fine. The memory is still a touching one, even 15 years later. Oh, dear. I just realized those "kids" are all probably grown up and married with kids of their own by now ... perhaps I need to sit down for a bit.

05-02-2008, 11:08 AM	#5
Lobolover Gorosei Posts: 421 Karma: 334 Join Date: Feb 2008 Device: Microsoft Word	am I the only recent eighteen year old here ? ps:I hate litle kids,I honestly,fully and resolutely DO.

05-02-2008, 11:11 AM	#6
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	Yes, this thread does have the danger of becoming unbearably touching. My 2-year old nephew was asked who his favorite person was, and the answer was "Uncle T". "Why?" "He can turn me into an airplane."

05-02-2008, 11:33 AM	#8
Lobolover Gorosei Posts: 421 Karma: 334 Join Date: Feb 2008 Device: Microsoft Word	Taylor-do you EVER stop ?(ALL CAPS-EMPHASIS)

05-02-2008, 11:36 AM	#9
Alexander Turcic Fully Converged Posts: 18,163 Karma: 14021202 Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Switzerland Device: Too many to count here.	Before this turns into mud-wrestling, please remember we have the ignore feature. I heard it works rather well.

05-02-2008, 11:38 AM	#10
Lobolover Gorosei Posts: 421 Karma: 334 Join Date: Feb 2008 Device: Microsoft Word	I am trying to engage in normal dialogue with him.And he can never do that,before geting bossy.If there's a problem,it's not cause of MY disinterest or lack of patience.

05-02-2008, 11:49 AM	#11
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	So put him on ignore: here's a link.

05-02-2008, 11:53 AM	#12
Lobolover Gorosei Posts: 421 Karma: 334 Join Date: Feb 2008 Device: Microsoft Word	I just ask him to not do that and everything will be okay.

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05-02-2008, 11:57 AM	#13
NatCh Gizmologist Posts: 11,615 Karma: 929550 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Republic of Texas Embassy at Jackson, TN Device: Pocketbook Touch HD3	Or you could put him on ignore and he could do it all day without you knowing a thing about it. Honestly: I'd rather you each put the other on ignore so that we can have a little peace on the playground.

05-02-2008, 12:06 PM	#14
ProfJulie Evangelist Posts: 423 Karma: 890 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: USA Device: whatever	Or you could just not wade into a thread that you have nothing to contribute to and muck it up with your stuff.

05-02-2008, 12:12 PM	#15
ProfJulie Evangelist Posts: 423 Karma: 890 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: USA Device: whatever	I was walking down the street one day and saw a little girl, about 5, holding a hose over a car with water running all over the car. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was watering the car. One day my dad remove the back of the television to fix a problem with it. My young brother of about 4 crowded in behind him. Exasperated, my dad said, "Jeff, What are you doing?" And my brother replied, "I want to see all the little people fall out."