A Charity Case

[jaxx6166]

My great uncle has prostate cancer. He basically told me that he's not long for this world...

They've always supported my writing and my reading addiction, and I want to give back to them.

For as long as I can remember, my uncle has always built ship models. Not like you buy this kit at a store and put it together. He's spent the last twenty or so years of his life looking through naval history books and making ships piece by piece by piece.

Right now he's working on a 1585 Chinese junk ship. It's around 85% complete and he made it entirely out of coffee stirrers. All he has left to do is paint it and finish the stand. He's been working on it off and on for the past seven years.

I'm in the process of writing a short (35k - 45k) based on his latest model. When I finish, I plan on vanity publishing it through LuLu to give it to him as a thank you. Right now he's into historical fiction. I actually just got his copy of Crichton's "The Great Train Robbery." The problem is, he's pretty much a super genius (working for NASA / volunteering with the Smithsonian for over ten years) so I don't really want to disappoint.

I could use all the help I can get. I'm hoping that someone here at MR would happen to have some special knowledge of sailing ships and the like. I've been googling the junk ships and chinese maritime legends/history.

The premise I have is super vague right now, all I've decided on is an old sailor going on one last voyage. When all is said and done, I want to have the closest to a professional quality vanity print for them, including complete cover design and editing. If you guys would be able to give me any help. I'd appreciate it.

The only "payment" I can offer is karma cookies and acknowledgement in the "end credits," if you will. I'd do a big thank you in the introduction and dedication, but I'm going to end up devoting that to sappy stuff about my great aunt and uncle

Thanks guys.

[Moejoe]

I know nothing about boats, but I'll give the cover a shot if you need any help in that direction, Jaxx.

Sorry to hear about your great uncle, I lost my uncle to throat cancer awhile back. It's great that you're doing this for him, my uncle only got 6 weeks from diagnosis.

Anyway, no brooding on that. Hit me up at http://pjlyon.tumblr.com/ if you need any help with the cover (that's where I'll be from now on).

PJ

EDIT: Just realised you need a tumblr account to communicate through tumblr. No worries, I've pm'd you my personal email.

[banjobama]

This is a great idea for a gift. I'd be happy to give the story an amateur edit any time, if it'll help.

[jaxx6166]

Thanks banjo. I'm sure I'll be needing a lot of help with editing and such. I don't think there's going to be a lot of time for me to sit down and plot out every last minute detail of this work and it will most likely be a discovery write.

I've googled junk ships and pretty much copied an entire wiki article for research. I think that'll be the extent of it. Tomorrow I want to start my first draft...

[banjobama]

I'll help as much as I can. I'm interested in seeing if editing is something I might want to do for a job so I'm looking forward to flexing my muscles, as it were.

[neilmarr]

What a fittting tribute to someone who sounds like a very worthy chap indeed, Jaxx. Once Banjo is through with her edit, run it by me for a pro proof read if you like. Best wishes to you and to your (truly) great uncle. Neil

ntmarrATbewrite.net (use the @ sign, of course)

[jaxx6166]

I'm beyond touched by everyone's offers to help. I knew there was a reason I kept coming back here for going on two and a half years now. Really.

Thank you guys so much. Hopefully I'll be able to really get things done over my next rotation off. If I can crank out 5k a day over my 4 off, I'll have it at around 85%

My only problem is I have to walk a thin line between what I usually write and what wouldn't offend an 80 something year old jewish man

If I stick to my goal of 45k, Scrivener puts that at around 108 paperback pages. LuLu allows multiple print formats, I'd love to do a hardcover or mass market size(6x9) for his library, but I wonder if that would be too short to bind, or if it would just look silly?

Perfect bound or Saddle stitch? What are the differences between the two?

[banjobama]

Originally Posted by jaxx6166

My only problem is I have to walk a thin line between what I usually write and what wouldn't offend an 80 something year old jewish man

[jaxx6166]

I've made my decision. Since I don't have the time to research a perfectly detailed historical adventure, I'm going to not stray far from my comfort zone.

It'll be a PA/fantasy adventure story.

My main character will be "The Tinkerer," Basil Rossim (a play on my uncle's name,) he's an old sailor who remembers the way things used to be. He's been working on a ship for the past seven years so he can sail through the oil slicked wasteland of what's left of the oceans. I'm debating on whether I want to make him a sickly thing and make him quest for the antidote in the old lands, or just kind of pressured by a younger secondary protagonist to have the old man relive his youth.

I think the second option has more of an appeal.

I haven't really decided on if I want a "real villain" or not. I'll probably fall back on 7th grade Grammar and Composition and just call it "Man vs. Nature" and "Man vs. Self"

Then, I found this on wikipedia: In 1938, E. Allen Petersen escaped the advancing Japanese armies by sailing a 36-foot (11 m) junk, Hummel Hummel, from Shanghai to California with his wife Tani and two White Russians (Czar loyalists)

Somehow I want to work my aunt into the whole thing, but I don't want it to be any more obvious than it already will be with Basil Rossim and the seven year ship. Maybe I'll give her a cameo when he reaches land. I'll make her an archivist or something...she was a public school librarian.

Ideas?

[banjobama]

Hmmmm...

I'm thinking.

[jaxx6166]

Oh man. This is proving to be a bad idea. The more I think about and try to grasp the concepts of sailboating, the more my head hurts....He knows too much about sailing ships for me to fake it. Maybe it's time for an update. .

[dreams]

Originally Posted by jaxx6166

Oh man. This is proving to be a bad idea. The more I think about and try to grasp the concepts of sailboating, the more my head hurts....He knows too much about sailing ships for me to fake it. Maybe it's time for an update. .

Just an idea, but...

Why not write about what you know. How about a story about him? How he has supported your reading and writing and his love of shipbuilding. How he researches and builds beautifully detailed ships and how you admire him.

How and why he started etc. Ask questions and write his story.

Well, it's just a idea of something I would do if I had to rethink and restart.

[runtmms]

Another take could be to write what you know, and put him in it as the fish out of water. That would give him an accessible window into your world.

-M

[jaxx6166]

Think I've finally figured it out. The skeleton should be worked out tonight. Hopefully

I've given it the working title of "Ashes of the Autumn Oak"

It's a little long, but we'll worry about that later.

One of the main characters will be "Basil Thime," which is as close to a play on Herb (get it, haha) as I can get. Basil's a bit - bookish, as far from a hero as you can possibly get. His father was either an airship pirate or some other kind of man-of-action. He's a scientist/teacher in the city of Rolle, (a play off Raleigh, where they currently reside) I'm kind of leaning towards an antebellum/postwar(reconstruction) time period with some steampunk influences. It should open up right in the middle of martial law being declared on the city.

Some radical/anti-government people (redshirts?) basically end up causing a ruckus. There's a military skirmish in the middle of the streets and the radicals run away with their tails between their legs. A short time later, they return with more bad guys and basically burn the city to the ground. There's a huge riot in the streets, one of the houses burned may end up being his family's home. He comes out to find his father in the streets bleeding from some nasty wounds, still clutching his pistol.

At that point, his father makes him promise to find the men that did this to him. So, now it turns into an almost revenge story. The military may or may not arrive and find him holding his father's gun and think he killed the great war hero. He could end up in military prison for a while until they realize he's Basil. At that point, maybe they'll end up conscripting him into service.

I think Basil will probably have the ability to turn all the little models he makes into functioning "robots" that perform his orders. Which would be the reason the military wants to keep him around.

Their whole goal of the mission may be to put down the insurrection. But somehow, along the way, they'll receive new orders from the President, who has learned of a crashed airship somewhere in the mountains northwest of Rolle. Since they're the closest military unit, they're mustered to go investigate the crash landing.

The United States as a whole does not have the airship technology, it's a super secret classified thing that the military was working on. A handful of people know about it, one of them is dead. The other helped design the thing and now works for the bad guys. The other is Basil.

Along the way, there'll be some airship battles and naval battles as they sail the rivers around the area. During one, the good guys will board another ship and discover Rosemary, a kidnapped librarian, locked in the brig.

Rosemary happens to be one of the few people who can read an ancient scroll that discussed the possibility or air travel and superior weaponry. The bad guys want her so they can pick her brain and take that knowledge to overthrow the government once and for all. Basil wants her because he wants her

After they rescue her and arrive in the mountains, there's an epic showdown between bad and good in the ruins of the crashed ship.

The good guys win and everyone lives happily ever after

Feedback?

[kcmay]

What a touching tribute and a marvelous idea! The story idea sounds great to me.