The Case of The Golden Coprolite

[Greg Anos]

CONCORDANCE


Post 1

Mrs. Slocum - Mature lady in the BBC show Are You Being Served? Known in the show for always talking about her cat at home in a less-than-genteel manner.

Silencered .22 - According to Raymond Chandler, the use of a large caliber handgun was the mark of an incompetent pistol shooter. While the author disagrees, he decided to maintain the Chandler tradition.

.22 BB Cap - A specialized .22 round, designed for extremely short ranged target shooting. It consist of a single BB, held in place by a crimped cartridge end, without a powder charge. The charge is only the .22 primer in the rim.

Pearl beer - Known to be the cheapest, vilest beer in South Texas. Drinking it was considered a clear sign or either lack of money, lack of taste, or a lack of brains.

Ralph von Wau Wau - A German Sheperd dog who had been surgically enhanced to have an I.Q. of 180 and the ability to talk. Created fictionally by Philip Jose Farmer in his parody of Kurt Vonnegut's writing in the book Venus On The Half-Shell, which was ascribed to Kilgore Trout. For more history about Ralph von Wau Wau, please see Doc Savage, His Apocalyptic Life, Addendum 1.

The Bird - Not the Jazz musician. A fictionalization (by various authors) of Harlan Ellison's derisive psuedonym, Cordwainer Bird, which he used when he feels his scripts have been modified without authorization. See also notes on Ralph von Wau Wau.

Big Ear - Generic term for a parabolic microphone. Used to listen to conversations at a distance.

Wadcutters - Square-edged bullets, designed to create the most damage in a soft target. The author does not believe that .22's have ever been loaded with wadcutters.


Post 2

What cooks? - A friendly greeting.

Hey, I can take 'em off, but I can't put them back on. - Pointing out that once a dog has been neutered, he can't be unneutered.

The Golden Coprolite - Totally ficticious. I invented it as a prop for the story. DixieGal had been talking about fossil dinosaur coprolite. As an exercise, I tried to make as many alliterative psuedonyms for the Golden Coprolite as I could, while staying within the realm of good taste. Well, acceptable taste. Ok, non-censored taste. No taste at all?


Post 3

The Mudhen - A group of 3 juvenile book centering around a lazy student at a boarding prep school in the 1930's. Cheese was his main antagonist.

Redneck - Derisive term for blue collar outside worker in the Southern US. Rednecks, of course, have developed pride in the term and sneer that the groups that gave it to them.

Only when he's happy. - A line used to describe Trapper John Mcintyre in the book M*A*S*H.

Good money in the deal, Angel. - A slight modification of a line out of the movie, The Maltese Falcon.

Remind me to give you a fire hydrant for your birthday. - A rather biting comment, it you remember the linkage between dogs and fire hydrants.

Mannie the Pigfarmer - Pinwheel is a ficticious Kingdom. Since the person using the Zelda Pinwheel avatar lives in Paris, France. I needed a place in France for a Kingdom. Luckily, an American fantasy writer had run into the same problem a century ago, and had created Poictesme as his fictional place in France. It was used in an 18 volume series, known as The biography of Manuel, the story of Manuel the Swineherd, who becomes Manuel the Redeemer, who will return someday to save Poictesme. I merely raised it from a County to a Kingdom, as a fit place for the elegant Queen Zelda to reign. But I did not forget my predecesser, but mentioned (in translation) it's origin.

eyeshade-wearin' - an Americanism for a cost accountant.

could carve up any 10 French bladesmen - From the obscure who-done-it Have Trenchcoat - Will Travel by E.E. Smith PHD, which was not published until 2001. It does not follow the rules of who-done-its very well, but it's still a rattling good read. It means the character is a superb knife fighter. The avatar used always protrays some shot of Xena, Princess Warrior, who had a more that casual familiarity with various sorts of knives...


Post 4

at the Winter Carnival - Also from the book M*A*S*H.

blend in smoother that a deer with it's tail down. - Deer are very well camoflagued. The flash their white tail patch as a distraction when they start to run for cover.

Silverfish Inn - One of the posters of MobileRead had been stuck in a cheap hotel with silverfish munching on the wallpaper. Hence the Silverfish Inn.

McFarlin Diamond (54 carats, canary yellow) - Real diamond, real theft, and real result. From the Witte Museum, San Antonio, Texas in 1967. At the time, the largest canary yellow diamond in the world.

Bonzo's Backfire - Fictious bar - Bonzo from Bedtime for Bonzo, starring Ronald Reagan, and Backfire from ... well ... flatulence.

It was a high class place, no chicken wire anywhere. - In the mid 20th century, a rural bar would have a cheap band for dance music. the clientele was usually drunk and rowdy (or violently obnoxious), and would tend to throw beer bottles at the band for any playing oversight. To protect the band, they were put behind a heavy steel mesh screen, known locally as "chicken wire". A high class bar of the times did not have such a protection, and used paid bouncers to eject troublesome patrons.

Robert Earl Kean's Merry Christmas from the Family. - Robert Earl Kean is a only modestly successful South Texas singer songwriter, whose songs are very local to the region. If you want to get a feel for life in South Texas, listen to some of his music. Merry Christmas from the Family is absolutely real, and ridiculously funny, at the same time. It starts - Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk, there at the Christmas Party... A good CD to start with would be No. 2 Dinner - Live.


Post 5

It's as good as you get in Chicago. - Chicago is known for it corrupt politicians for over 50 years, and before that, gangsters. Many, many times charges were dropped due to intimidated witnesses. Hence, no convictions, despite many arrests. As Sean Connery said in The Untouchables , "that's the Chicago way."

calaboose - Western slang for jail.

Monsieur Claude Vutton - If this story was going to carry baggage, it might as well do it first class....

Bozo - From the character Bozo the Clown - slang for a oaf or a jerk.

Poo-Bah - From the play The Mikado - Lord High Everything Else. the play is still a hoot, even after 120 years.

Foggy Bottom - Wall Street Journal term for the US State Department, which handles all diplomats.

St. Helena - A volcanic island in the middle of the South Atlantic, rarely visited. it's consider to be about as remote as you can get.


Post 6

get back to our rat killin' - A south Texas slang for "to return to the matter at hand."

shoe leather afterburner - An RSE original phrase, meaning to give a kick to a backside, usually as an editorial comment.

Diplomatic Passport - The rules of diplomacy are funny. A diplomat on foreign soil is not subject to the laws of the country he's in. Just the ones he from. So if he runs over a kid in a foreign country, he's not subject to arrest in that country. Only back home, if back home want to prosecute. This can lead to some really annoyed countries.

Diplomatic Pouch - In order to pass information, and sometimes booze, to diplomatic in foreign countries, there is a long standing convention that bags with diplomatic materials are allowed unopened transit between the home country and the field and vice versa. it's self policing, becaues if you open somebody's elses bag, they'll open yours.

Back when Dudley was doing the job - Dudley is the character Cary Grant played in the movie The Bishop's Wife. See the movie to get the joke...

the football - In the US, where ever the president goes, there is an officer carrying the communication equipment and nuclear codes for the US nuclear deterrent. It has been christened "the football" over the years.

chocolate football trophy - The Scotsman's avatar alway's mentions chocolate, and since the key to get the Golden Coprolite was with "the football", putting the Coprolite in a "football" trophy was a rude gesture at the security of the Kingdom...

[zelda_pinwheel]

i love these notes. you should add them in as footnotes like terry pratchett. i had no idea what that football reference was about... brilliant stuff, sir sir !

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

:standing ovation:

Brilliant stuff - thank you!

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i love these notes. you should add them in as footnotes like terry pratchett. i had no idea what that football reference was about... brilliant stuff, sir sir !

I did (since I'm from "over here"). Yeah, it was a great reference! This author deserves every penny we're payin' him!!

Hey, it's been grand workin' with ya, Red!! Call me anytime you need help with some carvings.....

[Greg Anos]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I did (since I'm from "over here"). Yeah, it was a great reference! This author deserves every penny we're payin' him!!

Hey, it's been grand workin' with ya, Red!! Call me anytime you need help with some carvings.....

I'll remember that next Thankgivin'. I didn't have room in the flow for you Golden Coprolite pendant, but it was (what else) a knife...

I still have 10 posts to annotate. That's be two more posts. I'm done for today.

Thanks for the praise. I tried to make it a story, and only put in people and things the story needed. (Sorry Hugo and Lefty, bullets and socks just don't mix.) Even the jokes had to describe/move the plot along. It'll be a while before I do another one, but I hear DesertGrandma has been havin' some problems in Arizona....

Do look up some of the references in the story. They are (most) all worth the time.

[Mindy]

Paid holiday and bling? I surely know where the grass is greenest*, even if I do toast your toosh from time to time (just for fun, you understand).

Thank you for keeping us all so entertained over the last couple of weeks!


*Pinwheel obviously, but unless/until Her Majesty makes an offer of employment I'll stick with you for target practice.

[Greg Anos]

Post 7

dingus - American slang for an item or a gadget.


Post 8

shark's stomach/no whale - Sharks are agressive in the waters off Austrailia. VR was suggesting the narrator should be shark food. The narrator responded with the Jonah and the Whale story. pointing out that Jonah was swallowed whole and later escaped.

vamanos - A Tex Mex word for leaving in a hurry - Tex Mex is a a border corruption of Spanish.

Mount up, Buell - Line from the movie The Hallelujah Trail. Burt Lancaster was ordering his Seargent to start the action.

since as we had waived those Diplomatic papers, nobody could touch the bags but us - To allow diplomatic security, items under diplomatic pouch can't be touched by anybody but that nation's diplomats.

joined the dreamtime - Aboriginal Austrailians refer the time before their oral history as The Dreamtime.


Post 9

Arlo Guthrie's "Coming Into Los Angeles" - American folk singer/songwriter, son of an even more famous folk singer/songwriter (Woodie Guthrie). The opening lines to the song were "Coming into Los Angeles, Bringing in a couple of Keys. (kilos) Don't touch my bags, If you please, Mr. Customs man."

live and in color - A early american broadcasting boast for sporting transmission in the early 1960's.

Enola Emmel - Mirror writing of Lemme Alone. First used by Patricia Savage in the Doc Savage Adventure "The Motion Menace".


Post 10

to go inspect the trees - slang for walking the dog.

shindig - American slang for party.

.50 cal Browning Machine Gun round sniper rifle - An invention of the late 1970's/early 1980's. The largest legal caliber without a special permit in America, was the .50 caliber. While it was legal, it had such power and recoil that no sporting use was made of it. Somebody got the idea in the late seventy that it could be used as a heavy, long ranged sniper rifle. They all weighed over 15 kilos and took two people to transport, but have been used militarily in Iraq and Afghanistan. With careful adjustment for wind and air density, they can be accurate up to 3.5 Kilometers.


Post 11

Let's get this show on the road - Classic american phrase for starting an endevor.

giddy-up - Western phrase used when getting a horse to move with a rider on it.


Post 12

klicks - American military slang for kilometers.

Valhalla - The Norse gods heaven, where the spirits of brave, fallen fighters went to drink, fight, and wench, until the end of the Universe.

It's a good day to die. - Line from the movie "Little Big Man".

MG42 - Standard German air-cooled light machingun in WW II. Used an 8MM Mauser round, with a very high rate of fire. Weights 12 kilos, and is still the best middle caliber light machinegun ever made. The rate for fire is so fast that the individual shots cannot be heard separately, the firing sounds like ripping a piece of linoleum. Very distinctive.


Post 13

hogleg - Western slang for a gun. The bend of the handle of a 19th century revolver was reminiscent of the bend in a hog's back leg.


Post 14

6 ways from Sunday - Texas slang for precaution on top of precaution.

you hold all the Aces - Poker phrase stating that the holder has all the advantage.

burr under your saddle - Western phrase for "what's bothering you". A burr under a saddle will cause a placid horse to misbehave, for no obvious reason, until you take the saddle off and see the burr sticking into the horse's back.

pards - Western for partners.

smooth ape - Phrase for describing humans, used by Robert A. Heinlein in some of his works.

pennying the door - A door fits into a door frame. If you jamb cents, or other slim coins in a stack between the door and the frame, you can form a tension fit that hold the door in place. if you are on the other side of the door, it just won't open. You have to hit the door hard enough to knock the coins out to get it to open. On the other side, they can be popped out easily

three rules of dirty fighting - They are 1. Do it first, 2. Do it fast. and 3. Do it dirty.

cojones - spanish for eggs, used in Tex Mex as slang for testicles.

Fort Apache - Famous John Wayne movie about an undermanned outpost being attacked by a massively superior force of Indians.


Post 15

to sprout legs - Western phrase that implies theft. When something disappeared that should not have, the whole phrase used was, "It didn't just spout legs and walk off."

IS THERE A DIPLOMAT IN THE HOUSE? - Parody of "Is there a doctor in the house."

Come in if you're friendly. - When approaching an unknown campfire, it was safer for your health in the old West to announce your presence before approaching. The standard phrases were, "Hallo, the fire. Can I come in?" The standard response would be "Come in if you're friendly. Coffee in the pot." (If there was any, as a sign of hospitality.)

Adios, compadre - Spanish - "Goodbye, old friend."

hoorah - Slang for excitement or trouble.


Post 16

cop a plea - Plead guilty to a lesser charge in order to save oneself of a more serious charge that may or may not be proven in court.


Epilog

you'll take over the show - Return to doing your normal duties that the other person had been filling in for.

[Slite]

Just let me do one small correction as regarding to Valhalla...

They don't gather there to drink, feast and wench until the end of the universe. they drink, feats and wench until Ragnarok which is the final battle between the Gods and the Jottun (or Giants)

Otherwise I'm very happy

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

...
shark's stomach/no whale - Sharks are agressive in the waters off Austrailia.

Nah, they're not aggressive. They're just in a bad mood because they have to look at too many of us fat fellas and sheilas who should know better than to wear budgie smugglers and bikini bottoms.

...
joined the dreamtime - Aboriginal Austrailians refer the time before their oral history as The Dreamtime. ...

Hmm, I've got some stories in my head coming out of the Dreamtime...sort of...well, it's kinda complicated...and there's bits I'd prefer not to explain, because I don't understand them yet myself. That dugong in the 911's a start. And the wake of a Rainbow Serpent. After that it all gets a bit odd...

[Slite]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Nah, they're not aggressive. They're just in a bad mood because they have to look at too many of us fat fellas and sheilas who should know better than to wear budgie smugglers and bikini bottoms.



Hmm, I've got some stories in my head coming out of the Dreamtime...sort of...well, it's kinda complicated...and there's bits I'd prefer not to explain, because I don't understand them yet myself. That dugong in the 911's a start. And the wake of a Rainbow Serpent. After that it all gets a bit odd...

what the heck is a budgie smuggler?

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Slite

what the heck is a budgie smuggler?

heh, i see i'm not the only one...

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by Slite

what the heck is a budgie smuggler?

you may want to re-read the sentence.....if a 'bikini bottom' is for women, then a 'budgie smuggler' would be for men, I'm thinking.

Have never heard that phrase before, and dont think I ever want to again.

Budgies are very small parakeets......at least here. I'm just sayin'.........

[Slite]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

you may want to re-read the sentence.....if a 'bikini bottom' is for women, then a 'budgie smuggler' would be for men, I'm thinking.

Have never heard that phrase before, and dont think I ever want to again.

Budgies are very small parakeets......at least here. I'm just sayin'.........

Oh, could it be something like a banana-hammock?

[Greg Anos]

Originally Posted by Slite

Just let me do one small correction as regarding to Valhalla...

They don't gather there to drink, feast and wench until the end of the universe. they drink, feats and wench until Ragnarok which is the final battle between the Gods and the Jottun (or Giants)

Otherwise I'm very happy

Please pardon my ignorance. Doesn't the universe come to an end during Ragnarok? (seriously curious.)

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Slite

Oh, could it be something like a banana-hammock?

australian men's fashion is so elegant.