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Old 05-28-2010, 03:24 PM   #16
MJK2111
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Old 05-29-2010, 12:57 AM   #17
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Old 05-30-2010, 07:52 AM   #18
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Astrological Chickens
Zodiacal Influence on Chicken Crossing Behaviour

LEO (July 20 to August 22):
Leo chickens are majestic and proud with personalities that need to shine, and greet opportunities with fervor and vitality. They always need to be in charge. They will cross the road with great enthusiasm for the opportunity to escape a normal, humdrum existence.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22):
Virgos are practical and adaptable. They have a strong desire to succeed, are very discriminating and tend to be critical of others. They strive for perfection. They are very poultriatarian and will usually cross for the good of other chickens and because it is the proper or correct thing to do.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22):
Libra chickens are thoughtful and sensitive, and are always seeking balance and harmony. They need the respect and love of other chickens more than any other group. They think carefully before making any decision. Libra chickens are prone to stop in the middle of the road to try to decide which way to go, making the crossing a considerable risk to themselves and others.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21):
Scorpios have a depth and intensity of their emotions that gives them a strong inner power. They are creatures of passion whose focused desires assist them in achieving their aims. They can be ruthlessly self-critical in their quest for truth. They are uncompromising, and stick to any commitment they have made. They cross because they promised to do so.

SAGITTARIUS (November 23 to December 21):
These chickens are restless and visionary. They love to explore new horizons and see life as a journey full of adventure. They greet every new experience with a warm heart, a ready smile and an open mind. They cross the road because of a passion to see more of the world and a spirit which longs to be free.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19):
Capricorns are very ambitious and are always striving to reach the top of the coop. They are tenacious in planning every step to achieve their goals, and leave themselves little time to relax before looking for new peaks to climb. They cross because they must to achieve the success they feel should be theirs.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18):
Chickens born under the sign of Aquarius are strong independent spirits longing to break free from traditional conventions and restrictions and the status quo. They are innovative and idealistic always replacing old outdated thinking with fresh perspectives. They are strongly driven to oppose social injustice and oppression. They are always experimenting to discover their own identity. They will cross because it is forbidden to do so and by doing so it will be easier for others to do so in the future.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20):
Pisces chickens are dreamy and sensitive. They are blessed with deep intuition and a wealth of emotion. Pisces are romantic, creative and full of love with a potential for great happiness and lasting joy. Their imagination is so strong that it frequently merges with fantasy. They usually cross because they had a vision telling them that this is the means to the happiness they are striving to achieve.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19):
Chickens born under the sign of Aries are natural leaders possessing a pioneering determined spirit, who wish to make their mark on the world. They cross the road to assert themselves and seek action, daring and adventure.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20):
Taurus chickens are strong willed and have a down to earth attitude toward life. They are overly interested in material things and have a real need for security. They feel unsettled unless comfortable. They will cross only if there is more security on the other side or to obtain material possessions.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20):
They are highly restless and are always seeking a wide variety of contrasting experiences. They cross because they are curious and to avoid the boredom of their mundane existence.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22):
While having a tough shell-like exterior, Cancer chickens are very sensitive and vulnerable. They have very delicate emotions, and are always attuned to their environment and the feelings of those around them. They have a constant and urgent need to feel safe and always act defensively. They will only cross the road when there is danger to themselves or others on this side.

LEO (July 20 to August 22):
Leo chickens are majestic and proud with personalities that need to shine, and greet opportunities with fervor and vitality. They always need to be in charge. They will cross the road with great enthusiasm for the opportunity to escape a normal, humdrum existence.

http://www.weirdity.com/jokes/chicken.shtml
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Old 05-30-2010, 09:26 AM   #19
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a chicken is a chicken is a chicken no matter their birth sign ....
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Old 05-30-2010, 12:38 PM   #20
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a chicken is a chicken is a chicken no matter their birth sign ....
true

But the birth sign does tell us if the chicken is a nice chicken, a mean chicken, a perverted chicken, a clean chicken, or even if the chicken is a real rotten sob.

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Old 05-30-2010, 04:10 PM   #21
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true

But the birth sign does tell us if the chicken is a nice chicken, a mean chicken, a perverted chicken, a clean chicken, or even if the chicken is a real rotten sob.


I do quite well - I think ....
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Old 05-30-2010, 04:14 PM   #22
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I would consider you a kind old clucker.

Well seasoned but a bit too stringy and gamey to eat

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Old 05-30-2010, 06:59 PM   #23
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I would consider you a kind old clucker.

Well seasoned but a bit too stringy and gamey to eat

.
ouch!
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Old 05-30-2010, 09:47 PM   #24
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Old 05-30-2010, 10:12 PM   #25
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I really don't know whether to be flattered, outraged, frightened, complimented, embarrassed, or get that warm fuzzy feeling [NOT like on the grill.]

So I think.

[Tom - got any spare avatar candidates? I think I might need a witness/avatar protection program.]
Perhaps by June 7th...

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Apologies to those who already know the story; but our pit bull, the late great Cain-dog, used to chase birds. I was always afraid he'd kill them if he ever caught them. Then one day while Cain was in the back yard on a nature call, I heard barking and ran outside to see why. There was Cain dog, about a foot or two from a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest. Cain was barking at it, but made no attempt to molest it. I retrieved the bird and put it back in the nest. From that day on, I never worried about him and birds.

He was really good with other animals. Once we took in a pregnant stray cat. That cat would jump the fence to be with Cain. They quickly became fast friends. And though I always watched him carefully around children, he was always gentle with them; much better than Norton, who tends to play too rough with the kids. Cain would take crap off kids that he would never tolerate from an adult. He was a pretty smart and civilized old fellow. We still miss him.
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Old 05-31-2010, 11:28 PM   #26
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robot chicken still a chicken.

Embedding disabled...but still funny.

Last edited by happy_terd; 05-31-2010 at 11:32 PM.
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Old 06-01-2010, 12:26 AM   #27
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[Tom - got any spare avatar candidates? I think I might need a witness/avatar protection program.]
***Psst, poohbear, I have an empty safe house you can use. No one will recognize you there.*** Click image for larger version

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Old 06-01-2010, 01:09 AM   #28
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Poor poohbear! All bruised and battered, feathers falling out! You come with me. You are my friend, I will protect you. See, nice belfry. Nice bats. No one comes here. Can you play chess? Here, drink some vodka. Put feathers on chest!

First one touches my friend gets the sledgehammer!
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Old 06-01-2010, 01:12 AM   #29
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First one touches my friend gets the sledgehammer!
Are you related to Gallagher?
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:08 AM   #30
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if the chicken would get in touch with his bearness this would not need to happen
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