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Old 05-12-2009, 06:04 PM   #1
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Vera who harv

Firstly a placeholder for notes, and an apologies/warning that this (probably intermittent) serialisation plays on various characters and features of the sillier parts of the Lounge. However, hopefully, anyone brave enough to keep going with this thread, but who doesn't follow silliness won't be completely left out...

(To some denizens of the Lounge: apologies for the delay -- it's a long way here from the lounge, especially when you have to dodge the staff.)

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Old 05-12-2009, 06:06 PM   #2
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Vera's footsteps echoed off the passageway walls as she strode towards the platform to catch the underground back home. Had, as was normal for this time of day, the passageway been packed with London's ever moving population it would have parted, scared by the venom in her step and her slightly worrying chuntering.
Anyone brave enough to eavesdrop might have drawn several conclusions from her mutterings. For instance, she was not a natural morning person, but somehow had ended up with a job that started at 6:30 in the morning and courtesy of managers who kept changing their minds had to work for thirteen solid hours today changing her original ideas until they were exactly what she had come up with the previous day.
It would be easy, but wrong, to have concluded that she hated travel – after all she seemed very pleased not to be in Lisbon. However, that was largely since that was where the managers, and the rest of the office, had fled to, joining the seasonal diaspora of Londoners. As attractive as Lisbon was (she had never visited it), that was offset by the thought of dining with the managers. In fact, she loved the idea of travel, and was secretly planning for several years of globe trotting.
Arriving at the platform, Vera glanced up at the display which was happily saying the next train was due in 43 minutes, prompting a resigned "Oh Great!" from Vera. To pass the time, she reached inside her coat pocket and pulled out her liseuse and continued reading.
Some time later, she closed her liseuse, exclaiming, to the still empty platform. "Panama?! Why would any author choose Panama? Oh well; let hope that Red.." Vera frowed and looked down the underground tunnel, convinced she could hear running feet. Suddenly the display board changed to "next train approaching."
"Oh goo---" Vera stopped in disbelief as a tall, thin figure in a long flowing coat appeared out of the darkness running effortless down the tunnel. With the graceful bound of an acrobat, the figure leapt up onto the platform and was about to continue up the stairs, when a he must have caught sight of Vera. With a graceful spin, he turned almost full circle to face Vera and ran forwards.
In the few seconds till he reached her, Vera concluded several things. Firstly, no-one should be able to look that stylish and dapper having just run down an underground tunnel. Secondly, for no reason she could determine, this person was pure charisma at a level that was unnatural. Thirdly—
"Hello, I'm the Doctor. Do you like running?" asked the Doctor, with a faint antipodean twang, as he took Vera's hand.
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:08 PM   #3
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Lefty: "Hugo, it hurts. This place is not right."
Hugo: "I known, but-"
Lefty: "And he's making us run for him again."
Hugo: "I know, but-"
Lefty: "And we have to run upside down, as usual."
Hugo: "Yes, but-"
Lefty: "And this place is giving me a heal-ache."
Hugo: "I know this place is painful, but that's probably why he's brought us here."
Lefty: "But why does he always take us somewhere we have to flee from?"
Hugo: "So we can save the day again?"
Lefty: "Oh. Well, at least he's stopped running."
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:10 PM   #4
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YEAH BABY !!!!! brilliant !!!! i'm so happy you finally started a saga !!!! thanks lazyscot, i can't wait to read the rest of it !!! i'd like to say the beginnins is stellar but the word seems too weak ! suffice it to say, i'm hanging on your every word, waiting impatiently for the next installment....
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:13 PM   #5
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Ooooh! Exciting start
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:15 PM   #6
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poor beleaguered hugo and lefty. why are they running ? why do they have to run upside down ??? and what are they saving the day from this time ???? tune in for the next palpitating episode, same bat-time (bats, of course, do not know how to tell time, so this is a meaningless reference), same bat-channel (this of course is not a televised nor radiophonic broadcast, so again, the notion of channel is metaphorical at best, but you get my meaning)...

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Old 05-13-2009, 12:33 PM   #7
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Doctor Who with hugo and lefty and Vera ........ the Tardis will never be the same ....
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:38 PM   #8
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"The World Premiere was last night"
"I know"
"Oh - so why didn't we go?"
"'Pffft, 'cause we're waiting, as usual, for him to get on with it!"
"Who?"
"Him, over there, with the liseuse and the stylus"
"What! the one with the long coat on?"
"That's right, but don't tell him he's forgotten to put any socks on"
"ttcchh, he'll catch his death he will"
"No, he'll be fine and dandy, see, he's just picked up that charming young lady"
"What, the one who's also holding a liseuse"
"That's right....."

"This is a station announcement ' weeessddtttill doo, hhhn ee nn shhst uuuppp fffofofof ttt sss g g t ththth xxxxx'"

"Oh - goodie, our train, come on......"
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:11 PM   #9
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"I… uhhh… umm…" Vera stammered. Vera's unusual lack of eloquence was, at least in part because she was suffering from the mental equivalent of charisma induced sunstroke, was rapidly falling in love with the long coat the Doctor was wearing, and couldn't work out why he did have the slightest sign of exhaustion after all that running. Also, she was convinced she could hear something, actually lots of somethings, running down the tunnel, that sounded like… But that was impossible, wasn't it?

"Excellent!" enthused the Doctor with a smile that aggravated Vera's charisma sunstroke. And before Vera knew what was happening found herself half running and half being pulled down the platform back to the stairs.

"I… but my train…" At this point Vera was about to come to an abrupt stop and protest, probably including a release of the accumulated pent up frustration of the day (which would have taken quite some time) when a small ball of scintillating, coruscating light flew down the tunnel out towards them, suddenly veered just enough to miss Vera and the Doctor before going on to impact the wall where it vanished. And promptly made a very large hole, showering chunks of tile, rock and concrete all over the platform in a sound the likes of which Vera had never heard. At which point two things happened simultaneously. Vera suddenly remembered how to sprint (and very nearly overtook the Doctor) and she frowned. She could have sworn, that for a moment, just as the light appeared and started towards them, she saw….

As Doctor and Vera flew up the stairs, with a speed not even obtained by those who are about to miss the last train home, several more small balls of light flew out of the tunnel and added to the renovation prospects of the station. Turning the corner, the Doctor reached into his coat with his free hand and pulled out something.

What good is an otoscope, thought Vera, mainly because she needed all her breath to keep running, leaving her unable ask. Well, he was a Doctor, though this did not seem a sensible time for an examination, and despite the incredibly loud explosion a few moments ago, she was very hopeful her hearing was fine. After all she was still convinced she could hear all those…. Maybe a checkup was a good idea.

Strangely, rather than pointing it at Vera, he pointed it at what Vera always assumed where blast doors (though what sort of blasts the underground was exposed to had, until a few seconds ago, always escaped Vera). The otoscope glowed blue. Ahead of them the doors twitched and, with a reluctance that reminded Vera of getting out of bed in the morning, the crept towards one another.

The strange sounds the Vera's mind was desperately discounting as impossible, were growing louder and closer, and as Vera and the Doctor ran though the slowly closing gap, Vera caught a clear sight of the source of the sounds.

"DUCK!!!" shouted the Doctor throwing himself to the ground and pushing Vera down, just before several glittering balls flew past.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:13 PM   #10
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Lefty, sulkily: "He's started running again. And it's still all jaggedy here. And they've started shooting at us as usual."
Hugo: "Well at least help me deflect some of it then, Lefty."
Lefty, sacrastically: "And stairs. Oh Joy."
Hugo, warningly: "Lefty."
Doctor: "Okay guys, you're on. Lets close those doors."
Lefty, straining "Grnnnghhh! Ow. I've torn a strand!"
Hugo: "What on earth are they made of?"
Doctor: "Technically, not on earth. Trans-spun top quark condensate. Why?"
Hugo: "The word heavy springs to mind."
Lefty, straining again: "Nnnghmph…"
Hugo, strugging: "MmmmGrrr.. DUCK! Mmmmph."
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:14 PM   #11
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dear god, what are those things ?? obviously my first thought was "squirrels" but i've never seen a squirrel coruscate...
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:24 PM   #12
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dear god, what are those things ?? obviously my first thought was "squirrels" but i've never seen a squirrel coruscate...
Nope. Squirrels come later...
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:25 PM   #13
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dear god, what are those things ?? obviously my first thought was "squirrels" but i've never seen a squirrel coruscate...
I don't know, but I don't think I want to meet one. Don't worry, I'm sure the good Doctor has a plan.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:25 PM   #14
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Nope. Squirrels come later...
of course they do.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:26 PM   #15
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Couldn't have a Harv and Vera story without squirrels.
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