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Old 03-14-2009, 09:41 AM   #1
Dr. Drib
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"The Most Boring Book" I read or tried to read
WARNING: If you're a living author and a member of MobileRead, you need to avoid reading this thread, because your boring book - YOUR EXTREMELY BORING BOOK - may be mentioned, blasted, and sent to Hell to be read only by the undead for their eternal punishment.


I'm a fan of James Joyce, but when I studied Finnegans Wake at the University, I found this massive tome to be quite boring. When compared to the beauty of Ulysses or A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Finnegans Wake is not a novel one reads for excitement.

Keep the thread nice, please. (Remember, if you're an author of a Boring Book, you need to be smart and avoid reading this thread, even though you weren't very smart when you published your Boring Book.)

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1) Always write 3 sentences of exposition; 2) now create some dialogue, preferably no more than 2 sentences; and 3) make certain the dialogue is either inane or humorous. Example:
“Bob, I did not know you wore yellow suspenders,” Sally remarked.
“Gee, Sally, those are not suspenders. I am wearing yellow underwear today,” Bob revealed.
The dialogue above will help produce at least 100 more pages of dialogue.
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Old 03-14-2009, 09:51 AM   #2
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Lisey's Story by Stephen King.. a surefire insomnia cure.
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Old 03-14-2009, 09:55 AM   #3
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"My Life on an Oil Rig" was a boring read.

"My Life in the Shipyards" was a rivetting one.
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:02 AM   #4
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*Ducks under flame-proof shelter*

Blindness by Jose Saramago
The Alchemist by Paul Coelho

Just couldn't bring myself to finish either, despite the hype/awards these novels received...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Moejoe View Post
Lisey's Story by Stephen King.. a surefire insomnia cure.
Really? I found it entertaining - not one of King's best by far, but still entertaining.
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:04 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by macgirl View Post
*Ducks under flame-proof shelter*

Blindness by Jose Saramago
The Alchemist by Paul Coelho

Just couldn't bring myself to finish either, despite the hype/awards these novels received...




Really? I found it entertaining - not one of King's best by far, but still entertaining.
I think I was bored by page 2.
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:11 AM   #6
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I think I was bored by page 2.
Well, it did have a very slow start...
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:15 AM   #7
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Quote:
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Blindness by Jose Saramago
I enjoyed that!

I'll nominate "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - the series started off well, but it got more tedious with each book, and the latest was the worst (I didn't bother finishing it ).
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:20 AM   #8
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Quote:
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Well, it did have a very slow start...
It was so slow I actually went back in time while reading it
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:24 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
"My Life on an Oil Rig" was a boring read.

"My Life in the Shipyards" was a rivetting one.

Yes, I agree that subject matter certainly dictates the "boringness" of a book.


Don
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“How to Write the First 3 Paragraphs of YOUR Indie Novel” - by Max Waxwelp
1) Always write 3 sentences of exposition; 2) now create some dialogue, preferably no more than 2 sentences; and 3) make certain the dialogue is either inane or humorous. Example:
“Bob, I did not know you wore yellow suspenders,” Sally remarked.
“Gee, Sally, those are not suspenders. I am wearing yellow underwear today,” Bob revealed.
The dialogue above will help produce at least 100 more pages of dialogue.
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:26 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macgirl View Post
*Ducks under flame-proof shelter*

Blindness by Jose Saramago
The Alchemist by Paul Coelho

Just couldn't bring myself to finish either, despite the hype/awards these novels received...




Really? I found it entertaining - not one of King's best by far, but still entertaining.

I loved Blindness. In fact, I actually collect Saramago in English First Edition hardbacks.

In what manner did it strike you as boring?



Don
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“How to Write the First 3 Paragraphs of YOUR Indie Novel” - by Max Waxwelp
1) Always write 3 sentences of exposition; 2) now create some dialogue, preferably no more than 2 sentences; and 3) make certain the dialogue is either inane or humorous. Example:
“Bob, I did not know you wore yellow suspenders,” Sally remarked.
“Gee, Sally, those are not suspenders. I am wearing yellow underwear today,” Bob revealed.
The dialogue above will help produce at least 100 more pages of dialogue.
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:28 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moejoe View Post
Lisey's Story by Stephen King.. a surefire insomnia cure.
Maybe you should read King's Insomnia!



Don
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“How to Write the First 3 Paragraphs of YOUR Indie Novel” - by Max Waxwelp
1) Always write 3 sentences of exposition; 2) now create some dialogue, preferably no more than 2 sentences; and 3) make certain the dialogue is either inane or humorous. Example:
“Bob, I did not know you wore yellow suspenders,” Sally remarked.
“Gee, Sally, those are not suspenders. I am wearing yellow underwear today,” Bob revealed.
The dialogue above will help produce at least 100 more pages of dialogue.
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:53 AM   #12
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The Sea, The Sea, by Iris Murdoch. At times I gave my contempt it's raving, foam-fleckled, snarling lead, just to break up the "I really couldn't give a fat rat's manky clacker what any of these people do, have done, or will do" boredom.

Cheers,
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Old 03-14-2009, 10:55 AM   #13
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The two most boring books I've read cover to cover have been The Silmarillian and A Passage to India.
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:14 AM   #14
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I could not finish Gerald's Game by Stephen King... Ugh
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:22 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moejoe;
Lisey's Story by Stephen King.. a surefire insomnia cure.
Second that I read less than 10% before throwing it at the wall. Even the local second hand book shop would not take it.

And also add State of fear by Michael Crichton.

Why must some authors become so self indulgent, I'll never wast money on either of their work again.
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