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Old 08-20-2014, 02:10 AM   #7996
cromag
Surfing the alpha waves ~
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Alright! Stairway to Heaven, Gladys!!
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Old 08-20-2014, 09:40 AM   #7997
poohbear_nc
Feliz Fowlidad!
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Alright! Stairway to Heaven, Gladys!!
I worked at an 'assisted living/nursing home' while I was in grad school - and helped set up the weekly 'sing-a-longs' -- and reflected that when the baby boomers hit the nursing homes, they will be singing Stairway to Heaven in those shrill geriatric voices!
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Old 08-20-2014, 12:01 PM   #7998
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Grand Muckity-Muck
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Reminds me of a cartoon I saw on the political page of our newspaper a few years ago. The scene was the outside of a house where "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix was blasting the neighborhood.

"TURN THAT NOISE DOWN!"

"It's not noise, it's music."

"I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK! WILL YOU PLEASE TURN THAT RACKET DOWN?"

"Why do you always have to be such a killjoy? I like this music."

"PLEASE, DAD, I'M TRYING TO STUDY!"
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Old 08-20-2014, 03:08 PM   #7999
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Baby Boomer Music true story:

Christmas 2006 I was working in Death Valley National Park when there was some pressure upon employees to vie for first prize in the Christmas Decoration Contest. Making a half-hearted effort by stringing up Dollar Store decorations around the windows, I amused myself using duct tape and fishing line to achieve a red neck tackiness. I even threw in a bit of dental floss.

I was working Christmas eve when two vacationing couples, Pakistani honeymooners and the second couple from Boston, were induced to become judges. My roommate, who took no notice of the contest, was enjoying his own little Xmas party blasting Lynyrd Skynyd (while drowning out 'Silent Night' and 'Joy to the World' wafting from other lodgings) and piling Bud bottles in the recycling bin by the front door.

The judges were charmed to discover the perfect redneck Christmas in Death Valley and awarded my roommate and me first prize. They said it was the Lynyrd Skynyrd that was the perfect Christmas touch and clinched the prize.
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Old 08-22-2014, 05:52 AM   #8000
orlok
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Old 08-22-2014, 07:19 PM   #8001
PeterT
Taking a break; Fed up
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Old 08-23-2014, 10:32 AM   #8002
PieMan597
Half-eaten
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Life is so unfair sometimes.
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Old 08-24-2014, 05:14 AM   #8003
Stitchawl
Opsimath
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Retirement Options...

You can retire to Phoenix, AZ where...

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

OR

You can retire to California where...

1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

OR

You can retire to New York City where...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan....
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Rhode Island on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR

You can retire to Minnesota where...

1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup ...
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6.The highest level of criticism is "He is different, she is different or It was different!

OR

You can retire to The Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Lee Wayne, Betty Jean, Mary Jo, etc.
5. Everywhere is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder".

OR

You can retire to Colorado where...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR

You can retire to Nebraska where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at."

OR

FINALLY You can retire to Florida where...

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.


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Old 08-24-2014, 05:58 AM   #8004
Kumabjorn
Basculocolpic
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"He needed killin", is a valid defence. That one cracked me up.
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Old 08-24-2014, 06:46 AM   #8005
orlok
Getting back into it
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You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
Took me a second...but .
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Old 08-24-2014, 07:53 AM   #8006
Stitchawl
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My favorite was from the California list;
3. You know how to eat an artichoke

I never even saw an artichoke or knew what it was before I lived in California, much less knew how to eat one, but on a motorcycle ride we passed through the town of Castroville, called 'The Artichoke Capital of the World!' We had to stop and find out what all the commotion was about.


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Old 08-24-2014, 01:12 PM   #8007
badgoodDeb
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I sniggered at "driven by headless people"
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Old 08-24-2014, 03:43 PM   #8008
PoP
Antonín ♯♭♪♮♫ ᵖʸᶠᵍᶜʳˡ
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I laughed at every statement except all of The Deep South ones and "You end sentences with a preposition" in Nebraska which I could not relate to. But after all, PoP is only a Canadian.
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Old 08-24-2014, 06:20 PM   #8009
badgoodDeb
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I laughed at every statement except all of The Deep South ones and "You end sentences with a preposition" in Nebraska which I could not relate to. But after all, PoP is only a Canadian.
You mean "to which you could not relate" ??
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:33 PM   #8010
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
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Originally Posted by PoP View Post
I laughed at every statement except all of The Deep South ones and "You end sentences with a preposition" in Nebraska which I could not relate to. But after all, PoP is only a Canadian.
Quote:
Originally Posted by badgoodDeb View Post
You mean "to which you could not relate" ??
Well there is one in the bunch that we Canadians can relate to. Sometimes we laugh about it and sometimes we howl in frustration about it but the Minnesota line is just about kin to us...
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