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Old 10-26-2013, 08:02 PM   #31
Xanthe
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No, you haven't said too much. Most people don't give a thought to what a situation like yours must really be like.

My stepdad was the primary caregiver for my mother after she became paralyzed from the waist down due to cancer. It takes an extraordinarily loving and generous person to take on that role full-time. He took on the role willingly and always said that he didn't mind doing it because he loved her, and that she would have done the same thing for him if the situations had been reversed.

I did backup care-giving work when he had to go out to various functions (to which my mom made him go because she didn't want him to become isolated from friends and the outside world) and I have to say, as much as I loved her, I seriously don't know if I could have been as selfless as he was with her and devoted myself to her care 24/7; it just hurt too much to see my formerly strong and capable mom being so dependent upon others for the most personal of services and so limited in her enjoyment of life because of her physical restrictions. It's painful to admit that, because I view it as a flaw within myself, but I just don't think my nature is as emotionally-giving or as selfless as his is.

Your wife is very lucky to have you, and never feel guilty about her condition. It is what it is, and her life is better for having you in it.
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Old 10-26-2013, 11:37 PM   #32
Salgueiros
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I am still amazed about how you cannot buy an ereader without permission. I am assuming that, given your wife condition, you are the one that somewhat manages money in your house so no one better than you to know if you can or cannot buy it, if that aspect is an issue.

If you want to talk about the difficulties and challenges of taking care of a person with reduced autonomy, that is fine for me, but your original post was strange in my view and that is what i was answering to.
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Old 10-27-2013, 04:27 AM   #33
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It’s probably also a cultural thing in that an ereader is just something you use in private for your somewhat odd habit of reading while the flat screen tv is the central hub of the household, always on, always ready... in practical terms, it’s probably somewhat like arguing for a new blender because your wife, who’s always cold, got central heating...
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Old 10-27-2013, 05:13 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saiyuki View Post
Hi all. In promoting my 'need' for another e-reader to my wife (looking at a Pocketbook Pro 912), i knew i had it sealed. It was perfect, no chance of tangental counter arguements, just plain and simple

I read books, that's what i like to do. I can add my own imaginative interpretations to the written characters and surroundings. I can escape to whatever time and or planet the book takes me to. I can experiance untold levels of immersion.

My wife watches soaps. This i know is the daily staple of many, and i would not wish it otherwise. If the person who watches soaps enjoys them then where's the harm. By stark contrast I generally don't watch TV because of the mind-numbing plot similarity between them. Can someone explain why everyone is so miserable in these programs. It makes me miserable thinking about it even now

Anyway. As i said, i had the perfect solid reason for my need of a new reader. My reason was i argued, it's no problem having an expensive flat screen TV which only my wife uses, but purchasing an expensive reader is a problem.

The outcome i must now admit, was expected. There was a total failure to prove the point. I somehow got lost in the logic that was used against me. Perhaps i need to start reading stories involving complex court cases because really, i thought i had nailed it

Back to the drawing board i guess

Regards
I read this or something similar.

"Don't argue with idiots.
They take you down to their level,
and beat you with experience."
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Old 10-27-2013, 05:20 AM   #35
saiyuki
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Salgueiros View Post
If you want to talk about the difficulties and challenges of taking care of a person with reduced autonomy, that is fine for me, but your original post was strange in my view and that is what i was answering to.
Hi. Basically i guess it's about convincing myself that anything i would like does not take the focus away from my wife. Strange as it may sound but we don't argue at all, we use typical British humour between us. People listening would think us nuts the way we sometimes carry on. There are no face to face arguments or sulking for hours afterwards, we throw banter against each other. For us it's the best way to deal with the situation we find ourselves in.

My original post reflects this. It's the sort of scenario that you would find in a British comedy, and it's quite probable that this was missed by many, and my apologies for that.

As it turns out i might get a present in the near future. I've checked my insurance policy and it hasn't been increased dramatically, plus i do all the cooking so i'm pretty sure it's a good present

Time for another cup of tea.

Regards
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:12 AM   #36
soulfuldog
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Hope you get your new e-reader maybe as a Christmas or birthday present. Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself you should get it almost as much as your wife? Part present and part gift to yourself, that's exactly what I'm doing to get my new Kindle next month.
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