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Old 03-21-2013, 07:39 AM   #6286
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
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On an unrelated note, my dad sent me a letter today telling me I was adopted.
Which dad?
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Old 03-21-2013, 01:18 PM   #6287
MJK2111
FUBAR!
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Drinks $80. Dinner $100. The room $250. The look on his face when she says “I’m on my period.” Priceless.
The look on her face when he says "So?" Beyond priceless.
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Old 03-21-2013, 05:55 PM   #6288
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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You don’t have to worry about zombies because zombies only eat brains.
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Old 03-21-2013, 06:22 PM   #6289
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
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You don’t have to worry about zombies because zombies only eat brains.
Thanks! I feel safer!
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Old 03-22-2013, 01:20 PM   #6290
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of the amazing relationship I have with my bed.
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Old 03-23-2013, 08:50 AM   #6291
orlok
Getting back into it
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My wife is going to the hair salon today.

For the next few hours I'll be practising my reaction.
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Old 03-23-2013, 10:00 AM   #6292
DianNC
Banned
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^^^^^
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Old 03-23-2013, 10:06 AM   #6293
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
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My wife is going to the hair salon today.

For the next few hours I'll be practising my reaction.
Very wise indeed...
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Old 03-23-2013, 05:24 PM   #6294
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Dear Tequila, we had a deal last night. You were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
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Old 03-24-2013, 04:39 PM   #6295
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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My laziness is exactly as the number 8. If it lays down, it becomes infinite.
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Old 03-24-2013, 08:57 PM   #6296
Freeshadow
temp. out of service
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Luck is like a fart; the more you try to force it, the higher the risk that shit happens.
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Old 03-25-2013, 02:13 PM   #6297
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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True love lasts a lifetime? Explain my empty bowl of ice cream.
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Old 03-25-2013, 04:18 PM   #6298
PeterT
Taking a break; Fed up
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True love lasts a lifetime? Explain my empty bowl of ice cream.
Check your thighs! The ice cream didn't leave you!
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Old 03-26-2013, 02:24 PM   #6299
orlok
Getting back into it
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A woman walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a double entendre, please".

So he gives it to her.
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Old 03-26-2013, 02:26 PM   #6300
orlok
Getting back into it
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
To
To who?
To whom!
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