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Old 03-11-2013, 06:25 AM   #6226
Chi Cygni
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Oh! and here's one i prepared earlier.
Those cooking shows are full of . . . well, you know.
How come they can chop, slice, dice, cube and grate onions and not once, have I seen any of the dozens of celebrity chefs shed one single tear.
And how come in any washing powder/liquid advert when the woman pulls out a shirt out of washing machine the thing is already a) dry b) IRONED
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Old 03-11-2013, 12:55 PM   #6227
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And how come in any washing powder/liquid advert when the woman pulls out a shirt out of washing machine the thing is already a) dry b) IRONED
She's had lots of practice?
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Old 03-11-2013, 04:54 PM   #6228
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Is that a sandwich?
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You have such a big mouth; you could eat a banana sideways.
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Old 03-12-2013, 02:22 PM   #6229
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.
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Old 03-13-2013, 02:14 PM   #6230
yhamm
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When old school trumps high tech...

http://youtu.be/RRDSj62tlvQ

Last edited by yhamm; 03-13-2013 at 02:21 PM. Reason: embedding youtube video is over my head
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Old 03-13-2013, 06:23 PM   #6231
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent, now he’ll never have any friends.
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Old 03-13-2013, 06:44 PM   #6232
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
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I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent, now he’ll never have any friends.
That will keep it from reproducing...
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Old 03-13-2013, 07:55 PM   #6233
Bookpossum
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Approximately 200 dead crows were recently found near Northam on the Great Eastern Highway in Western Australia and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows and confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu (to everyone's relief). However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks and only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

The State Government then hired an ornithological behaviourist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kills. The ornithological behaviourist determined the cause. The conclusion in short order was: When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out crow in nearby trees to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."
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Old 03-13-2013, 08:27 PM   #6234
Stitchawl
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........ His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."
Have you been taking lessons from Orlok?



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Old 03-14-2013, 05:45 AM   #6235
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Have you been taking lessons from Orlok?



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It's pretty dire, isn't it!
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:50 AM   #6236
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Have you been taking lessons from Orlok?



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It's pretty dire, isn't it!
Hey!!! What are you trying to imply?
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Old 03-14-2013, 06:41 AM   #6237
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The Circle of Life:

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Old 03-14-2013, 07:07 AM   #6238
Stitchawl
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Hey!!! What are you trying to imply?
Monday we began vaccinations against Typhoid, Rabies, Tetanus, and Japanese Encephalitis. Perhaps we should add to the list.


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Old 03-14-2013, 11:30 AM   #6239
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Monday we began vaccinations against Typhoid, Rabies, Tetanus, and Japanese Encephalitis. Perhaps we should add to the list.


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So what should be added to the list? Orlochius?
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Old 03-14-2013, 11:40 AM   #6240
HomeInMyShoes
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An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.

The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.

'It was in honour of St. Patrick's Day, 'he smiled.

'I gave you a sham rock.'
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