Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 405

Pookeysgirl · 02-12-2013, 03:54 PM

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything,

I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want. A `great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he surprisingly hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here, 'the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 euro notes I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’

yvanleterrible · 02-12-2013, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

"Mars Needs Moms" By Disney.

Drats! I've just dated my maturity level!

Fbone · 02-12-2013, 11:05 PM

I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

red_phoenix · 02-13-2013, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookeysgirl

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything,

I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want. A `great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he surprisingly hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here, 'the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 euro notes I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’

Fbone · 02-13-2013, 11:39 AM

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

badgoodDeb · 02-13-2013, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

Very nice!! I remember him .... (well, the name)....

Bookpossum · 02-13-2013, 10:20 PM

Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis:

"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth".

Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed...

maianhvk · 02-14-2013, 07:23 AM

So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.

orlok · 02-14-2013, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maianhvk

So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.

*Groan*

GeoffC · 02-14-2013, 10:03 AM

I've noticed a few £500.00+ USB Flash drives on Amazon.co.uk this afternoon, but even this one is a joke !?

pilotbob · 02-14-2013, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maianhvk

So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection.

I hope your connection is protected... wouldn't want to get a virus!

badgoodDeb · 02-14-2013, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

I've noticed a few £500.00+ USB Flash drives on Amazon.co.uk this afternoon, but even this one is a joke !?

Looks kinda cute! But yeah, that price tag is a joke. It *is* actually listed as available in the US, for $50 for the 64G one.

Fbone · 02-14-2013, 02:49 PM

"My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!"

WT Sharpe · 02-15-2013, 02:08 AM

Love is like a game of cards.

You start off with two hearts and a diamond.

You end up wishing for a club and a spade.

Stitchawl · 02-15-2013, 02:24 AM

Can you believe it?
This guy wins $181 million in the lottery and then finds the
love of his life just 2 days later.

*Talk about LUCK!!! wow!*

Stitchawl

02-12-2013, 03:54 PM	#6061
Pookeysgirl Wizard Posts: 1,704 Karma: 12696746 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Ontario Device: Kobo Original, K3 Wi-Fi, Samsung Galaxy S3	A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him 'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked. 'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says. 'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?' 'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off. 'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want. A `great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.' A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he surprisingly hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him. 'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here, 'the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?' 'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.' 'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?' 'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out 100 euro notes I didn't even know were there!' 'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?' The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.' C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?' Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.' 'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?' 'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.’ __________________

02-13-2013, 10:20 PM	#6067
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 5,075 Karma: 64461897 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: Kobo Touch (mine), Sony PRS-T1 (husband's)	Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth". Then he made the earth round... and he laughed and laughed and laughed... __________________ Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. (Garrison Keillor)

02-14-2013, 07:23 AM	#6068
maianhvk whimsy Posts: 2,749 Karma: 88012403 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Vietnam Device: Kindle 3 WiFi	So I’ve decided that my Wi-Fi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection. __________________ "Man's social practice alone is the criterion of the truth of his knowledge of the external world." My reviews on Goodreads

02-14-2013, 10:03 AM	#6070
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 26,684 Karma: 16550486 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	I've noticed a few £500.00+ USB Flash drives on Amazon.co.uk this afternoon, but even this one is a joke !? __________________ > My Cats

02-15-2013, 02:08 AM	#6074
WT Sharpe Grand Muckity-Muck Posts: 26,560 Karma: 70600100 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindles: Paperwhite/K-3/Touch, Sony PRS-600, iPod (audio books), iPad1	Love is like a game of cards. You start off with two hearts and a diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade. __________________ Last edited by WT Sharpe; 02-15-2013 at 09:37 AM.

02-12-2013, 11:05 PM	#6063
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

02-13-2013, 11:39 AM	#6065
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

02-14-2013, 02:49 PM	#6073
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	"My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!"

02-15-2013, 02:24 AM	#6075
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 9,355 Karma: 145494219 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Kyoto, Japan Device: Sony 505, Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350	Can you believe it? This guy wins $181 million in the lottery and then finds the love of his life just 2 days later. Talk about LUCK!!! wow! Stitchawl

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