02-05-2013, 05:00 AM | #23461 | |
whimsical
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Cleaning day. Also I made baked potatoes topped with unsalted beurre, and dirty rice. My first attempt at both - the dirty rice didn't go well but baked potato is the easiest thing on earth
Red bull then and iced water now. Quote:
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02-05-2013, 05:02 AM | #23462 | |
The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠
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And now I can give my free and worth-what-you-paid-for-it advice. It sounds like a really generous offer to me. And if you get on well with your parents, go for it. But do make sure you have a definite plan and timetable. Even if it gets altered, it's much better to be able to talk about why the timetable is being altered than not to have one at all. And I think that amward's idea is an excellent way to cut short the arrangement if it becomes too fraught. P.S. If you do decide to go for this, think very carefully before putting any of your current household stuff into store. It may well be cheaper to sell/give away most of it and re-buy when you move into your own place, than to have it stored for two (or more!) years. Last edited by pdurrant; 02-05-2013 at 05:04 AM. |
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02-05-2013, 05:10 AM | #23463 | |||
Mysteriarch
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My cup is empty at the moment, but will soon be filled with green tea.
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I also know all those things will catch up with us, whether we live with my parents or in our own place. We'd still have long hours at work, chores and building. We already know it's going to be a rough couple of years. Question is if it will be even rougher if we live with my parents. Quote:
We wouldn't have to rent storage units, my parents have lots of room where we can put furniture. We'll also sell some things that we won't be using in our house anyway. It's really distracting me, I can't seem to focus on work. I hope we'll be able to make a decision soon. Thanks for all the advice guys, you're all great Last edited by Iridal; 02-05-2013 at 05:13 AM. |
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02-05-2013, 05:15 AM | #23464 | ||
Opsimath
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Even more than that. It depends upon how well you get on with your boyfriend AND your parents, all in the same confines. Quote:
I'm going to sit back, drink a mug of Keemun tea, and think about how "I" would feel in this same situation... having been there myself once or twice! Stitchawl |
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02-05-2013, 05:45 AM | #23465 | |
Mysteriarch
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I've asked him several times if he thinks he'll be OK living there. Because living there and visiting them for one day is not the same thing at all. He says 'yes'. He likes my parents. We'd make our bedroom and the adjoining library into our own sanctuary where we can spend time together. But I know he hasn't really thought it through. I have a feeling we'll spend the next couple of evenings talking about this. |
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02-05-2013, 06:12 AM | #23466 | |
Opsimath
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When I separated from my first wife I moved back into my old bedroom in my parents place. They had no objection to my being there, but after having the house to themselves for three years it certainly made a difference in their daily routines. Stitchawl |
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02-05-2013, 06:19 AM | #23467 |
Wizard
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02-05-2013, 06:38 AM | #23468 |
Wizard
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I am with Stichawl on this one. Sure its a great momentary gain, but emotionally I think it could potentially be extremely costly. I would advise against it. If you do it, as other said, you need a time table and clear agreement of boundaries up front. And by clear, I mean written out and agreed upon. Brewing me up some Black Silk in my travel mug... |
02-05-2013, 06:41 AM | #23469 | |
Opsimath
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Where it says 'Cajun Seasoning' try using one or two Tablespoons of this mix: 2 1/2 tablespoons salt 1 tablespoon dried oregano 1 tablespoon paprika 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper (It HAS to be cayenne, don't use Thai prik!) 1 tablespoon 'freshly ground' black pepper (NOT already ground in the bottle!) Stitchawl |
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02-05-2013, 07:16 AM | #23470 |
The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠
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Iced water (well, water that used to have ice in it) in my cup.
I'll offer up my own little experience of moving back in with parents. We were moving to be nearer my parents, with two children (6 and 3) and one on the way. We intended staying for just six weeks over the summer, but our house purchase fell through, and we ended up staying for six months. It actually was a very pleasant time, for all of us I think. It all depends on whether any party has unrealistic expectations. |
02-05-2013, 07:21 AM | #23471 |
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
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green tea
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02-05-2013, 07:31 AM | #23472 |
Tea Enthusiast
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It is a very generous offer and the savings are massive.
How long have you lived indpedently? I am sure your parents will be fine with your coming and going but you are going to have to be more careful with when you come home and checking in so you don't wake them up or worry them. Saving money on rent is balanced not only with smaller living quarters and family, Mom, Dad, and brother, but a longer commute. You already don't like the commute you have now. Is an increase going to be worth the money saved? It is not only additional time away from your boyfriend and the things you like to do but now it is additional time you cannot spend working on the new house or time you need to rest and relax. And there are cats to think about. Can you introduce your cat to your parents and see if they get along? You adopted the little one and made it a part of your family. If he is going to be unhappy for a minimum of two years is it worth the stress to him? And you are going to end up doing more around the house and probably paying some of the utilities. You know that you are likely to feel like a freeloader if you don't. If it were me, I would say thanks but no thanks. My Hubby would go nuts, he likes having his own space. I would have said thanks but no thanks before I was married as well. I love my parents and have a great relationship with them but I value my independence. Toss in the additional commute and I would really say no thanks. I changed companies to avoid adding 20 minutes onto my commute. I value being close to work so that I have more time with my family and for sleep. |
02-05-2013, 08:31 AM | #23473 | |
Opsimath
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The hall table lamp. The last person in at night would turn it off. If my parent woke up at 4am and the lamp was still on, they would worry. But if it was off, all were home safe and sound asleep. No need to open doors to check. We never had a curfew, and simply had to be home at a 'reasonable' hour during the week, a bit later on the weekends. If we were going to be out late, an early phone call was expected. Even as an older teenager I'd disappear for 2-3 days without pre-plan, but a phone call saying I'd be gone was required. By the same token, when I moved back in with them, if THEY were going to be out late, or going away somewhere, they would call and let ME know. Living with other people requires a lot of give and take on all sides. I had many friends who always had several room mates, even as adults. I always preferred to live alone or with a lover. I couldn't stand the idea of a room mate, and even though the price was right living with my folks, I only put up with it for six months before I moved 3,000 miles away. Stitchawl |
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02-05-2013, 08:55 AM | #23474 | |||||||
Mysteriarch
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A trial run is difficult. They are renovating all the bedrooms right now. One free bedroom will become the library this week, my old bedroom is a storage room at the moment. If we decide to move in, they will renovate my room as well. But right now there's no way they can put a bed in there, and I think they don't even have any spare beds. Quote:
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One thing we did talk about already is spending a weekend away from home every other month. Just to have some quality time with just the two of us. And to minimize the stress building a house will bring along. Quote:
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The one thing I keep thinking is: it's only temporary. Yes, it will be difficult at times, but we know at all times that it won't be forever. And if it means we can save enough money to finish our house instead of having to save money after we've moved in to finish everything ... Maybe that is worth it. Wow, I deserve a cup of cappuccino after such a long post! Getting a refill right now |
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02-05-2013, 09:17 AM | #23475 |
Wizard
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Ultimately, everyone and every situation is different. I would rather spend the money myself, I do not think they emotional cost, and the risk to the relationships is worth any price that can be paid with money... but I know some people make it work, so maybe you will get lucky.
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languages, tea enthusiasts, what is in your cup? |
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