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Old 01-30-2013, 09:10 AM   #6001
steven522
binomial: homo legentem
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I'm going to kill the idiot who said this was easy.
Reminds of the day I ended up bleeding from hundreds of scratches received from a slightly dizzy and thoroughly pissed-off cat while trying to prove to my friend that there was enough room in my tiny apartment.
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Old 01-30-2013, 03:02 PM   #6002
orlok
Desperation
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Originally Posted by steven522 View Post
Reminds of the day I ended up bleeding from hundreds of scratches received from a slightly dizzy and thoroughly pissed-off cat while trying to prove to my friend that there was enough room in my tiny apartment.
...
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:36 PM   #6003
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Reminds of the day I ended up bleeding from hundreds of scratches received from a slightly dizzy and thoroughly pissed-off cat while trying to prove to my friend that there was enough room in my tiny apartment.
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:48 PM   #6004
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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“I went to the doctor and he said, ‘You’ve got hypochondria.’ I said, ‘Not that as well.’”
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:08 PM   #6005
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Kiki's in tune
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Colgate has created a very ingenious advertising campaign to promote their dental floss, but before I explain to you the main detail of these images, I will let you appreciate them quietly ....








Alright, now that you had time to quietly observe the images, in the first one you will now notice that she has one finger too many in her hand, in the second one a phantom arm is floating there, and in the third one the man has only one ear...


The campaign attained its purpose, because it proved that food remains on your teeth draw more attention than any physical defect...



Too, too clever......I failed on all counts !!!!......

DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

(PS: I'm having a lot of trouble getting the pics to display at all, and then the sizing's wonky - sorry )
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:40 AM   #6006
orlok
Desperation
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Why did the Mafia Don cross the road?

Forget about it.
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Old 01-31-2013, 05:53 PM   #6007
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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“A man walked into the doctor’s. The doctor said, ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time.’ The man replied, ‘I know. I’ve been ill.’”
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:30 AM   #6008
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American Senator
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“I was walking along today, and on the road I saw a small, dead baby ghost. Although thinking about it, it might have been a handkerchief.”
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Old 02-01-2013, 10:27 AM   #6009
din155
Search is on....
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“A man walked into the doctor’s. The doctor said, ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time.’ The man replied, ‘I know. I’ve been ill.’”
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Old 02-02-2013, 03:02 PM   #6010
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Old 02-03-2013, 07:51 PM   #6011
yhamm
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For all of you who have a Facebook account but wonder why you signed up.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:11 PM   #6012
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Is that a sandwich?
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Old 02-04-2013, 12:28 PM   #6013
orlok
Desperation
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There were two nuns, one of them known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to **** us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

A little while later...

SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
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Old 02-05-2013, 03:32 AM   #6014
issybird
o saeclum infacetum
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Old 02-05-2013, 04:13 AM   #6015
cromag
My own Cosmic Overlord
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Well, that's one way to hold a good space!
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