Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[Nexutix]

Hellen Keller walks into a bar.

Spoiler:

And then a table, and then a stool.

[steven522]

Originally Posted by Nexutix

Hellen Keller walks into a bar.

Boo!
* Throws tomatoes at the stage *
Boo!


I'm just not admitting that I laughed at that...

[wodin]

Make sure those tomatoes are EXTREMELY rotten!

[Fbone]

The young couple was at a baseball game. About halfway through the game, they noticed a much older couple in the seats below them.

They were being VERY affectionate. They looked like two teenagers. He had his arm around her most of the time. Every few minutes, one of them was whispering in the other’s ear. They also would hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes, or nibble at their mate’s ear. There was also a lot of giggling going on.

The young man said to his girlfriend, “I don’t know whether to watch them or the game.”

She said, “Watch THEM! You already know how to play baseball.”

[Bookpossum]

Mayan artist to assistant: Oh dear, I've run out of space, and I've only got to 21 December 2012.
Assistant: Golly, that's going to cause a few problems!

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Mayan artist to assistant: Oh dear, I've run out of space, and I've only got to 21 December 2012.
Assistant: Golly, that's going to cause a few problems!

[steven522]

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

21 December 2012

It's funny, but actually Mayan calendars have been found that have dates into the AD 3500's. Just one type of Mayan calendar "renews" on 12/21/12.

[Fbone]

“I know a man who has been married for 25 years and he spends every evening at home.”

“That’s what I call love.”

“No, his doctor says it’s paralysis.”

[kennyc]

[orlok]

[Fbone]

Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework — that, he declared, was woman’s work.

But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers.

She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren’t so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job.

The next day, she couldn’t wait to tell her friends in the office. “How did it work out?” they asked.

“Well, it was a great dinner,” Mary said. “Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away.”

“But what about afterward?” her friends wanted to know.

“Oh — that didn’t work out,” Mary said. “Charley was too tired.”

[orlok]

I own Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 and Black Ops I and II, so deciding what I wanted for Christmas was easy.

Spoiler:

I really want to get laid.

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by orlok

I own Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 and Black Ops I and II, so deciding what I wanted for Christmas was easy.

Spoiler:

I really want to get laid.

I'm sure it could be arranged.

[Stitchawl]

Originally Posted by orlok

I own Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 and Black Ops I and II, so deciding what I wanted for Christmas was easy.

Spoiler:

I really want to get laid.

Originally Posted by kennyc

I'm sure it could be arranged.

Not a chance, Kenny. Didn't you see his last post in the 'What's in your cup' thread? He's going to bed with a glass of filtered water. We need to have a serious talk with this boy...


Stitchawl

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Not a chance, Kenny. Didn't you see his last post in the 'What's in your cup' thread? He's going to bed with a glass of filtered water. We need to have a serious talk with this boy...


Stitchawl

Oh My!