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Old 07-27-2012, 06:13 PM   #1
Echase
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The Space Diaries (Adult Humor/ Sci-fi) Free Ebook
Check out my short story The Space Diaries for Free!


Space Captain Bex Shimmerly is known throughout the universe as a brave leader of men. Little known to his crew, he also has a lust for aliens and space crack.

WARNING: Contains some Graphic Adult Content
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Old 07-28-2012, 04:54 AM   #2
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Unlikeable protagonist
The protagonist derides and objectifies the female he has sex with in the first scene, basically calling her the equivalent of a whore, without justification. I have nothing against adult content but it should be respectful.
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:03 PM   #3
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Who wants to read a free work of short fiction? Heroism, drugs, sex, drama, it's got it all!
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Old 08-18-2012, 04:19 PM   #4
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Old 09-04-2012, 12:57 PM   #5
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:02 AM   #6
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Old 09-28-2012, 03:50 PM   #7
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it's friday! a good day to read free ebooks!
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:01 PM   #8
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:26 PM   #9
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It isn't funny.
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Old 11-24-2012, 07:56 PM   #10
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It isn't funny.
Maybe you don't have a sick sense of humor.
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Old 11-24-2012, 08:06 PM   #11
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Maybe you don't have a sick sense of humor.
Do you have an attitude problem? You should be asking nicely why your story wasn't found to be funny. But instead you insult.
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Old 11-24-2012, 10:39 PM   #12
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While I agree that his reply wasn't the most friendly sounding the poster who said it wasn't funny wasn't much help either with how little detail they gave in their critique of the story. Why wasn't it funny? He/she doesn't say anything about that. If someone doesn't like something about a story I'd say at least include something of why in the critique. Spoiler tags will hide it from those who don't want the story spoiled I'd think. And in any case the poster didn't lose anything as the story was offered for free.
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Old 11-25-2012, 05:54 AM   #13
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While I agree that his reply wasn't the most friendly sounding the poster who said it wasn't funny wasn't much help either with how little detail they gave in their critique of the story. Why wasn't it funny? He/she doesn't say anything about that. If someone doesn't like something about a story I'd say at least include something of why in the critique. Spoiler tags will hide it from those who don't want the story spoiled I'd think. And in any case the poster didn't lose anything as the story was offered for free.

I agree with everything you said, except one thing: The poster may have lost 'Time.'



Don
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1) Always write 3 sentences of exposition; 2) now create some dialogue, preferably no more than 2 sentences; and 3) make certain the dialogue is either inane or humorous. Example:
“Bob, I did not know you wore yellow suspenders,” Sally remarked.
“Gee, Sally, those are not suspenders. I am wearing yellow underwear today,” Bob revealed.
The dialogue above will help produce at least 100 more pages of dialogue.
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Old 11-25-2012, 08:35 AM   #14
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I agree with everything you said, except one thing: The poster may have lost 'Time.'



Don
Touche Don, though how much time is lost with a short story is hard to figure when the story is only 5,399 words long. That's about 21.5 pages if you figure that a page is 250 words, so maybe an hour assuming they read the complete text. Though I will grant you the point that there is no way to refund time that is lost.
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:37 PM   #15
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I agree with everything you said, except one thing: The poster may have lost 'Time.'



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And in case of this story the last meal too.
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