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Old 10-03-2012, 04:39 PM   #5416
MJK2111
FUBAR!
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Originally Posted by orlok View Post
Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law.

It's my P.S. de resistance.
In case anybody was wondering, Ohm's Law is "E = I x R"
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Old 10-03-2012, 04:57 PM   #5417
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:54 PM   #5418
WT Sharpe
Grand Muckity-Muck
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Originally Posted by steven522 View Post
I groaned so loud after reading this one, a co-worker ran in with a bat ready to kill zombies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeshadow View Post
Who won the fight?
I imagine the zombies ate the bat's brains. The real question is where does steven522 work that his co-workers have such ready access to flying mammals?
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Old 10-03-2012, 06:04 PM   #5419
steven522
binomial: homo legentem
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I imagine the zombies ate the bat's brains. The real question is where does steven522 work that his co-workers have such ready access to flying mammals?
The Vampire State Building
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Old 10-03-2012, 07:13 PM   #5420
Iznogood
Guru
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Originally Posted by Freeshadow View Post
Who won the fight?
Zombies always win
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Old 10-03-2012, 10:37 PM   #5421
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
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Old 10-04-2012, 11:43 PM   #5422
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:46 AM   #5423
Bookpossum
Snoozing in the sun
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Of course he is!
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:16 PM   #5424
yvanleterrible
When books can fly!
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Drats! They can always hear us!...
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:05 PM   #5425
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Is there another word for synonym?
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:04 PM   #5426
pilotbob
Grand Sorcerer
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Originally Posted by Fbone View Post
Is there another word for synonym?
According to dictionary.com

equivalent, metonym

BOb
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Old 10-05-2012, 10:21 PM   #5427
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Me and my recliner - we go WAY back.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:38 AM   #5428
Nexutix
with TBR of 500+ !!!
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A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

‘Good morning,’ said the young man. ‘If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners . ‘

‘Go away!’ said the old lady. ‘I’m broke and haven’t got any money!’ and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. ‘Don’t be too hasty!’ he said. ‘Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.’ And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. ‘If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.’

The old lady stepped back and said, ‘Well let me get you a fork, ’cause they cut off my electricity this morning.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:46 AM   #5429
Nexutix
with TBR of 500+ !!!
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Continued...

After his horrible meal, he went to another house, which was in fact a farm house. He checked the electricity was still on, and then knocked at the door.

He went through his spiel again to the farmer's wife who had answered the door, but said "I no longer have anything to demonstrate with, but with this being a farm, perhaps you have some wheat or something?" The farmer's wife found a sack of wheat, and he took a handful of it and threw it on the ground. However, try as he might, the high-powered vacuum cleaner simply would not clean it up! He got a little frustrated, then looked at the wheat and noticed it was a little damp. He thought for a moment, and as he was thinking he noticed another sack that had been sitting by the radiator in the hallway. He asked the farmer's wife if he could try with that wheat instead.

She rolled her eyes, and said "OK... but this is your last chance". He took some of the wheat from the new sack, and poured it onto the floor, and the vacuum cleaner cleaned it all up without any issues! The farmer's wife was delighted and bought one right there!

The moral of the story is: If at first you don't suck seed, try drier grain.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:51 AM   #5430
Nexutix
with TBR of 500+ !!!
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Another one.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office, I will find him. You have my Word.
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