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Old 08-14-2012, 10:38 AM   #16
Doitsu
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I've just read the Kindle preview and I've to say that everything about the book screams "Self Published" starting with poorly photoshopped cover and the use of a monospaced(!) font in the body text.
If the book is that important to you, you may want to have a professional book designer give it a do-over. The same goes for your 80's style web site.
As for the originality of the book, there are countless books and TV shows with very similar themes, for example, the recently canceled US TV show Awake comes to mind.
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:52 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Steven Lyle Jordan View Post
Captain Scarlet used to die at the end of every episode.
Hi Steven,

true... and wikipedia states something fascinating about Captain Scarlet:

"if he is injured or killed, retro-metabolism restores him to a state of top health. Now able to deploy suicidally reckless tactics to thwart Mysteron threats, Scarlet repeatedly braves the pain of death in the knowledge that he will recover to face the Mysterons once more."

What is retro metabolism?
he-he!

Interesting, that he uses his knowledge of immunity to become a permanent hero. The same thing crosses Ewan Charles mind in part of the DEAD LOOP - to use his 'daily death' for good, but that plan is short lived for reasons I shouldn't say!
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Old 08-14-2012, 02:07 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by frostschutz View Post
If it's like Groundhog Day, all the more reason to read it. But it's not actually like Groundhog Day, if it's not the same day there's no way the main character can tune it to be a perfect day by trial-and-error.
Hi frosty,

Many thanks for the feedback.
I guess its difficult to explain the story without giving it away and ruining it for the reader. Ewan isn't living the same day over again and has no opportunity to improve it. He does go through a range of emotions during his experiences but there are also a number of sub plots in addition to the mysterious fact that he dies every day.

I agree that my website is far from fantastic at this stage and will continue on trying to improve it.
I also like the idea of putting some sample chapters on the site and maybe trying to get it onto Smashwords.
I'm also thinking of giving the first part away on Thursday using the 1 day Amazon promo feature.
I want people to read and experience the Dead Loop becasue the 5 random unkown joe public test readers I used during its creation loved it!
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Old 08-14-2012, 02:11 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by steven522 View Post
Wait. He dies every day and comes back to life the next day. Not a reliving of the same day over and over? Wouldn't everyone else around him go, "Hey! Aren't you supposed to be dead?!??"
Hi Steve,

They might, unless they don't!
Tis a mystery!

Also, imagine if he tells his wife that he knows he is going to die today (which he does) and his wife asks him to prove it by barricading themselves in a safe room (which they do)...
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Old 08-14-2012, 02:30 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Doitsu View Post
I've just read the Kindle preview and I've to say that everything about the book screams "Self Published" starting with poorly photoshopped cover and the use of a monospaced(!) font in the body text.
If the book is that important to you, you may want to have a professional book designer give it a do-over. The same goes for your 80's style web site.
As for the originality of the book, there are countless books and TV shows with very similar themes, for example, the recently canceled US TV show Awake comes to mind.
Hi Doitsu,

I guess originality can only be judged on the whole book. Otherwise nothing is original really. Every new film is another love story or crime drama or sci-fi epic or period piece or comic flim and can always be compared to something. Hunger Games - hailed as original was so close to Battle Royale - it could have been a remake IMO! Although the BR film was good and the HG book OK!

I see Awake was cancelled but at least its user review average was still 8/10 which would please me if I wrote it! It does sound intriguing though so I might have to download the episodes.

I think my overall concept and story is original but then I would agree that re-occuring death (thanks Mr.Scarlet!) and some kind of loop (Groundhog) have been done before. My characters were very real to me and I stared at pictures of them in front of me as their lives unfolded in a literary sense. One or two parts were quite emotive writing them and I shed a number of tears I admit. But what I really hope is that for a few dollars people will be deeply absorbed in the Dead Loop and certainly not regret reading. If I get a high percentage of reviews on Amazon giving it less than 4 stars then I have definitely failed!

I take on board your comments on the cover and website and font, although I hope I will be judged on the writing and story. That said, it would be a real shame to me if people were put off by the picture on the book. I had to use those pictures because they were taken and given to me by people who were physically inside Pripyat so I had to take them as they were. I do want my presentation to be good and so I thank you for taking time to look at my website and offering some criticsim.

How was the video trailer... ropey?
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Old 08-14-2012, 02:37 PM   #21
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Not sure the premise of this story sounds too much like Awake to me.

I enjoyed Awake. Best part was hearing the Brit come through Jason Isaacs' accent. Worst part... the show being over so soon. I'm adding that to my to soon to be forgotten list along with Firefly.

This book sounds intriguing.
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Old 08-16-2012, 05:21 PM   #22
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I'm adding that to my to soon to be forgotten list along with Firefly.

This book sounds intriguing.
I liked Firefly. In fact my friend was lucky enough to get two tickets to the red carpet premiere of Serenity in Leicester Square in London, so I got to go to that!

I'm pleased my book sounds intriguing.
Part 1 is free today and at only $.99c anyway as I want people to read it, hopefully be intrigued and enjoy the experience of the Dead Loop. (And hopefully give me an Amazon review and honest feedback!)
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Old 08-16-2012, 05:33 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tipplej View Post
The DEAD LOOP

Hello fellow writers and readers!

In the DEAD LOOP trilogy, Ewan Charles experiences his own death every day. It's an intense psycological thriller mystery. Is that a new genre I wonder? !!!

...

Any suggestions would me much appreciated!

P.S. Didn't mean to pile on, just responding after reading the initial post, but seems my reaction is not much different than others.


Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Last edited by kennyc; 08-16-2012 at 05:52 PM.
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Old 08-16-2012, 05:34 PM   #24
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Oooh I like free.
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Old 08-16-2012, 09:13 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by kennyc View Post
P.S. Didn't mean to pile on, just responding after reading the initial post, but seems my reaction is not much different than others.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
Pile away kenny!
The more feedback the merrier for me. I welcome people taking the time, so thanks!
A couple of people questioned how original the Dead Loop is which I personally find strange. So far the only books mentioned where the main character dies regularly is the brief period in Groundhog Day where Bill Murray kills himself a few times and Captain Scarlet in his battles with the Mysterons.

The Dead Loop is nothing to do with either of these scenarios!

I of course respect the opinion of anyone who thinks my concept is not original, but then I must ask two questions:

1.
If its all been done before, then without reading the book, can anyone speculate as to why Ewan Charles dies every single day in the Dead Loop?

2.
Can anyone name a single book published in 2012 for which we also collectively are unable to say just as easily: "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt?"

Last edited by tipplej; 08-17-2012 at 09:23 AM.
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Old 08-17-2012, 07:48 AM   #26
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Since the book was free today, I downloaded it and read it. I can confirm that it's nothing like Groundhog Day. It's more like the tv shows Quantum Leap or Awake.
I.e., the main character dies and then finds himself in a completely different situation and has to think on his feet.
All in all, the book is well written and definitely entertaining, but after experiencing the umpteenth death of the main character with only minimal potential clues as to what this is all about it gets a bit repetitive.

@tipplej: Since your book is thematically somewhat similar to Awake you might be successful in pitching the idea of an official tie-in novel to the producers.
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Old 08-17-2012, 09:05 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Doitsu View Post
I can confirm that it's nothing like Groundhog Day. It's more like the tv shows Quantum Leap or Awake.
I.e., the main character dies and then finds himself in a completely different situation and has to think on his feet.
All in all, the book is well written and definitely entertaining, but after experiencing the umpteenth death of the main character with only minimal potential clues as to what this is all about it gets a bit repetitive.
Hi Doitsu,

Thanks for reading it and I'm delighted to hear that you considered it well written and entertaining. Although I was confident it was both, hearing it from a new reader is the only opinion that really matters. Reader feedback is worth far more than anything an editor might say. Writing first person narrative can be challenging! Maybe one day you will consider reading the other two parts.

There was a lot of discussion during the Dead loop creation about the number of deaths Ewan experiences and whether it could become repetetive.

However, it was ultimately felt that the first book structually deals with the formation of the Dead Loop in a kind of episodic 'death per chapter'. Some of the clues as to what is going on are quite subtle and are far more obvious when reading the books for the second time.

Book 2 changes in that Ewan tries to use his knowledge and acceptance of the Dead Loop for various purposes... He also meets his mysterious 'stalker' and a bizarre relationship develops whilst he endeavours to unravel what is happening to him.

Book 3 is the conclusion and reveal of whats going on and what happens as a result.

Last edited by tipplej; 08-17-2012 at 12:14 PM.
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Old 08-17-2012, 11:35 PM   #28
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The trailer was okay -- you're more ambitious than I am.

But if you want people to check out your book, make it easier for them. Put a link somewhere.

Also, I almost never download from Amazon. They are the biggest player in the game, but there are a lot of potential readers out there that you're going to miss if you aren't available elsewhere.

Good luck to you!
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Old 08-18-2012, 10:11 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by cromag View Post
The trailer was okay -- you're more ambitious than I am.

But if you want people to check out your book, make it easier for them. Put a link somewhere.

Also, I almost never download from Amazon. They are the biggest player in the game, but there are a lot of potential readers out there that you're going to miss if you aren't available elsewhere.

Good luck to you!
Thanks very much for the advice.
Good point on the book link:

UK
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B008S2WGFY/

US
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008S2WGFY/


Where else should we make ebooks available. I am using currently using Amazon only. Smashwords has been mentioned. Anywhere else?

Last edited by pdurrant; 08-23-2012 at 06:00 PM. Reason: removing the excess junk from the URLs
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Old 08-20-2012, 01:55 PM   #30
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@tipplej: Since your book is thematically somewhat similar to Awake you might be successful in pitching the idea of an official tie-in novel to the producers.

Thanks for the suggestion!
I'm doubtful that any producer would even consider listening to a pitch from an author in regards to a novel that is not already a bestseller.
If you can prove me wrong and get a movie deal for the Dead Loop, Ill give you agents rights of 20% of the author royalties.

The Dead Loop would make a phenomenal movie.

I think it needs Matt Damon though!
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