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Old 04-24-2008, 10:11 AM   #1
Dr. Drib
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The 10 Worst Books

We all love lists, don't we. Look at the different thread titles right here or visit the web for a plethora of lists - we find validation in the form of lists.

Ok, so let's have YOUR list for the 10 Worst Books.

Also, it might be fun to "validate" your reasoning with a quick sentence or two. After all, as my drill sergeant once said, "Opinions are like a....h...s, everyone has one."

Well?


Don
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Old 04-24-2008, 10:23 AM   #2
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Whatever the 10 latest books Oprah has recommended.
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Old 04-24-2008, 10:27 AM   #3
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i'm not good at lists. the second i'm asked to list anything (including : "name 2 articles of clothing you are currently wearing, you are allowed to look down") my mind instantly becomes a void so complete it's the next best thing to anti-matter.

but i'll comment on other people's lists, if i've read anything on them.
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Old 04-24-2008, 10:28 AM   #4
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Whatever the 10 latest books Oprah has recommended.
I'm glad you used the word "latest." I remember when Jonathan Franzen's current novel won either the National Book Award or the Pulitzer Prize, (sorry, can't remember which one) and there was a flurry of negative activity from both sides.

Don
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Old 04-24-2008, 10:48 AM   #5
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1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)

This book is to writing what a McValue Meal is to cuisine (mmm, caramel sundae...arrrgglll)

2. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)

Will John Galt please shut the hell up before I put a bullet in my head.

3. The First Man in Rome (Colleen McCullough)

I'm sorry, I'm leaving - will the last man in Rome please turn out the lights.

4. The Sparrow/Children of God (Mary Doria Russell)

I love God. I hate God. I love God again. (Yeah, but he still hates you like he hates gays and atheists, you whiny pillock with the freaky hands)

5. Anything by Piers Anthony

Seriously, when mummy told you to stop fantasizing or hair would grow on your palms, she didn't mean for you to write it all down instead.

6. Battlefield Earth (Lunatic Ron Hubbard)

If I have to explain this inclusion to you, I'm going to track you down and kill you for being too stupid to live, because it'll be easier (and the authorities'll let me go free when I tell them why I did it)

7. The Sea, The Sea (Iris Murdoch)

Yeah, that's right, I've got an Iris Murdoch book on my list. You wanna fight about it? This book is empty of anything likable. Think "dull dull dull" and "soap opera with longer words" and you'll just about have it. "Literature", my arse! This is pretentious claptrap hiding nothing but unlikable, ever-shallow characters and empty meaning.

8. The Wheel of Time (Robert Jordon, mostly)

Ahh, the wheel of time is circular and neverending. No, seriously, it is.

9. A Game of Thrones (George R. R. Martin)

A game like Monotony...I mean, Monopoly. Do not pass Go.

10. Anything Cthulhu Mythos (by H.P. Lovecraft)

Insanity, doom, dread, horror...bollocks! I've done scarier craps.


There you go, in no particular order. They're probably not the worst I've read, but they came to the forefront of my mind the quickest.

Cheers,
Marc (I'm so going to get it from Cthulhu)
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Old 04-24-2008, 10:52 AM   #6
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Harry Potter - 1,2,3,4,5,6,,,,,
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Old 04-24-2008, 11:08 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by montsnmags View Post
4. The Sparrow/Children of God (Mary Doria Russell)

I love God. I hate God. I love God again. (Yeah, but he still hates you like he hates gays and atheists, you whiny pillock with the freaky hands)
I must reread your earlier posts, Marc. I thought you were (almost) recommending this. No? And God (or god, thank you) can hate me all it wants. What do I care?
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Old 04-24-2008, 11:10 AM   #8
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5. Anything by Piers Anthony

Seriously, when mummy told you to stop fantasizing or hair would grow on your palms, she didn't mean for you to write it all down instead.

Marc, at some point you will need to start signing your real name so lines like this can be properly attributed.
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Old 04-24-2008, 11:32 AM   #9
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1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)

This book is to writing what a McValue Meal is to cuisine (mmm, caramel sundae...arrrgglll)
heh... my grandmother read this book. when i asked her what she thought of it, she said, "... it reminded me why i hate the catholic church." i decided to give it a pass.

Quote:
6. Battlefield Earth (Lunatic Ron Hubbard)
oh ? really ? you're not convinced by the whole "Alien Overlord as Origin of the Species" theory ? what about it seems to be a problem ?

Quote:
10. Anything Cthulhu Mythos (by H.P. Lovecraft)

Insanity, doom, dread, horror...bollocks! I've done scarier craps.

(...)

Cheers,
Marc (I'm so going to get it from Cthulhu)
yeah you are...
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Old 04-24-2008, 11:38 AM   #10
Dr. Drib
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2. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
Will John Galt please shut the hell up before I put a bullet in my head.

8. The Wheel of Time (Robert Jordon, mostly)
A game like Monotony...I mean, Monopoly. Do not pass Go.

10. Anything Cthulhu Mythos (by H.P. Lovecraft)
Insanity, doom, dread, horror...bollocks! I've done scarier craps.


I love your comments, absolutely funny!!1

I still read Lovecraft, buy my God he's unintentionally funny, sometimes. (Call it a love/funny relationship.)

I love the story of the guy desperate to escape the drooling horror, but feels COMPELLED to stay seated in front of his typewriter and TELL us about it, until he's finally consumed!.

When I was pimply-teenager I ate this stuff up. Now that I'm older and wrinkled like a prune, I STILL EAT THIS STUFF UP!! The difference now is that I can shudder AND laugh at the same time.

Thanks for your great comments.

Don

Note: I think Cthulhu has us both now!!
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Old 04-24-2008, 11:45 AM   #11
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Harry Potter - 1,2,3,4,5,6,,,,,
I guess you disagree with the millions of readers around the world who love the books. This isn't the place for a Harry Potter commentary (there's probably already a thread) but I disagree. Even if you don't like Harry Potter, I really don't think you can put one of the best selling books in all of history on the bottom of the totem pole.
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Old 04-24-2008, 12:01 PM   #12
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I guess you disagree with the millions of readers around the world who love the books. This isn't the place for a Harry Potter commentary (there's probably already a thread) but I disagree. Even if you don't like Harry Potter, I really don't think you can put one of the best selling books in all of history on the bottom of the totem pole.
I thought 1 was fun and I was very pleased for all the kids (young and otherwise) who ate these up. But I was sorry I spent the time to read 2 and I doubt I'll be reading any more of them. Too much frosting for me. Perhaps the later books are meatier but I'm unwilling to invest the time to find out.
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Old 04-24-2008, 12:43 PM   #13
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I LIKE "Battlefield Earth". It's too long, but it's a great story. Let's not forget - Hubbard may have had some odd ideas, religiously-speaking, but he was also a damned good SF writer.
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Old 04-24-2008, 01:39 PM   #14
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The worst book I ever encountered (by a long way) was 'Morwyn: or The Vengeance of God' by John Cowper Powys.
It was complete tripe.
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Old 04-24-2008, 02:03 PM   #15
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Marc: I understand that John Galt's check for one (1) bullet is in the mail to you.

Worst book? There are so many to choose from my mind is spinning. Surely L. Ron's would be there (since he keeps writing new ones long after his "death" he may command all ten positions.) Also there should be any politician's self-penned (with the help of many ghost writers -- although that takes on new meaning with the Clintons) works.
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