|04-24-2011, 02:41 PM||#1|
Join Date: Apr 2011
Salatis and the Dark King
I have recently published an ebook and would like some feed back on the tasters that are below. Thankyou for your help ;o)
Chapter 9 taster - Forest of Sogno
My father’s memories had really lifted my mood. Seeing my mother warmed my heart and knowing my father had been in the arena when I defeated Fenderal was important. I had wished he would come and watch, but thought he did not condone such activities. The loss of control over his powers however did concern me and I hoped I would not suffer as he had on that day. Wasting no time, I formed up the men and moved towards the forest. On approach you could feel it drawing you in. It looked so inviting and for the life of me I could not understand why it was feared so. The birds in the sky were in full song and I looked up to find them. It seemed peculiar that all the noise was coming from behind us. Concentrating hard, I focused on the woods.
-Why is it so quiet?
Hundreds of birds in the sky and not one using the trees to nest, already I was wondering if we had made the right choice and I entered the forest not sure what to expect. To the eye it was pleasing and you felt a warm sensation work its way through your body. I noticed even the sound of the snapping twigs underfoot was dulled. The silence was eerie, but at the same time comforting.
“Open up the pace,” I ordered. Heinricus was at the front and did as I asked. The speed we were going made me confident of success; I had seen nothing that I feared and my mood was relaxed. That fact alone suddenly gave me the feeling something was not right. We had only been travelling for a short time and already I felt my concentration lacking. Other things then started to force their way through the calm. Why had we not seen any wildlife since we had entered the forest? It was ideal for many types, but none had chosen it as a home. The pace had slowed and I put my eyes to the front. Heinricus was staggering side to side; it was only slight, but from this distance it was evident.
“Heinricus;” he didn’t reply. “HEINRICUS; pick up the pace.”I watched him shake his head, as if to come out of a dream.
“YES SIR.”Once again he opened his stride. We had been travelling for some time, although I could not have even guessed as to how long. Most of the distance we had travelled was a blur and I turned to check we had no stragglers. Amor had lost his sword and had a vague expression on his face.
“Amor you ok?”He looked at me, but his gaze was dream like.
“Can you not hear it?”He said calmly. “It’s beautiful.”His eyes had now wandered off and he was looking up at something no one else could see. I ordered the front to stop and everyone closed in.
“What can you hear?”I asked.
“The trees,” he replied. I looked towards Tristan for assurance and I saw he too was struggling.
“Wake up” I said. Shaking Amor so hard; his helmet fell off. The soldier came back into his eyes and he was not sure what had just happened to him. “We need to get going,” I ordered. “Heinricus take the front,” he did not reply. I looked around unable to see him. “Where is he?” I barked trying hard to conceal the doubt that was building within me.
“He must have kept going,” Amor replied frantically. The men were now worried and Amor had lost all control of his emotions, crying out for his brother. I needed to keep it together and tried to restore some order.
“Every second we waste is bringing failure closer to our door, we must make hast, we may even catch up with Heinricus. Letholdus take the front let’s get moving.” I turned to move and nobody followed. There was a pause and glances moving between the men. Amos was still shaking, but his eyes had become glazed again.
“We need to turn back,” demanded Letholdus; urging the men to speak up.
“If we turn back now, our quest is over and the Lazamerian alliance will fall.” I hoped some emotional blackmail would make him see sense.
“I have a wife and children, like many of the men here. I do not believe Sustantivo could ever fall,” Letholdus snapped. Looking at his body language said enough, Letholdus had defiantly made up his mind and anything I said was going to fall on deaf ears.
“I have no time for argument; my path leads to Veneficus Regnum. Anyone who wishes to turn back can with no shame.”
|04-25-2011, 03:18 AM||#2|
Chocolate Grasshopper ...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Device: Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW
|04-25-2011, 06:03 AM||#3|
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Monaco-Menton, France
Good to have your company, Kircr. As Geoff says, you'll find dedicated threads here to promote your work to your heart's content. Luck with the book and very best wishes. Neil
|04-26-2011, 06:42 AM||#6|
Join Date: Apr 2011
Thanks very much for the advice guys. Im a complete beginner to all this and your help is appreciated. ;-)
|action, adventure, fantasy|
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