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Old 12-30-2010, 11:34 AM   #781
pshrynk
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Right now, there are so many things happening in the games room that we are going to have to freeze frame just to be able to describe it. Pay attention, FX budget is just about shot and we can only do it once:

Harv is trying to get closer to Vera to cover her back from the two goons who are converging on her. He is also batting away a squirrel that just left a mark on his right ear.

Vivaldi is muttering about needing mouthwash and snapping wildly at the squirrel that is trying to ride him like a pony.

Vera is removing her stiletto from the back of the German under foot, but only because she plans on planting it firmly on Hilda's instep in the next three seconds. She is managing to avoid the squirrel paper cuts, but is not happy about the tiny rips in her best suit gained in the effort.

The zombie formerly known as leTerrible is not there, so we will have to deal with him in the next episode. No squirrels are bothering him right now, by the way.

Bois Aussi and Slite have just entered the room and are dealing with several Germanomexican peasants from behind. Slite has become the third person in the room that the squirrels are not messing with. Just because.

Miyatake is working up to get behind Harv, which would, technically, put him between Harv and Vera, a position that he will very soon learn is not a good place to be.

The squid is happily banging the now unconscious trio of squirrels together and has called his agent to see if he can get booked on Letterman. The card was the nine of spades, by the way, making Harv the winner of the Hampton Estate, a lot of money which he will soon lose at the craps table (because, after all, his luck had definitely turned up good), two tin washers, a stick of Juicy Fruit, and more to the point, ownership of the Goose, something which will soon change everyone's lives in a completely different direction.

Biggles is crawling around the floor and pushing sticks of dynamite into the pants legs of German thugs, muttering under his breath that it is about time he got his back. He is also looking for a match. The squirrels aren't so much ignoring him, as falling over in fits of laughter every time they look at him.

Handsome has been long since unconscious, since he can't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. The squirrels are using him as an auxiliary launch pad.

Dr Montsnmags is standing serenely in the center of the room, carrying on a conversation with the interdimensional rift that hsa just opened up above him.

Okay, back to live action...
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Old 12-30-2010, 04:02 PM   #782
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Looking back at it, Biggles was amazed that he was able to remember anything of what happened next. One minute, he was lying on the floor, being trod upon by participants in a brawl, the next, he was looking up into a rip in the universe. He really felt that he should have brought his camera along, just to have something more to describe it to others than, "Sparkly in a banana-ish sort of way."

Everyone in the room turned their eyes to the center of the room just as an invisible gibbon dropped out of the rift, right onto the head of the biggest German peasant. He proceeded to try to rip the man's ears off through the other side of his head. After that, things got strange.

The Ninja Squirrels suddenly changed sides and started whacking away at their former allies and most of the Germans fled the room. The ones who didn't were, in fact, already unconscious. Hilda screamed in outrage and advanced on the invisible gibbon, who was riding his victim's head like a mechanical bull.

"You little putz!" she screamed, "Ve had a contract!"

Just as she passed Biggles, he stuck out his foot and the teutonic juggernaut fell down screaming curses in three languages. Deciding that there was really no reason to continue hiding on the floor, he stood up. Besides, he had not really spent a lot of time thinking of how to ignite the dynamite in a fashion that did not actually damage himself in the process. He just hoped that none of the Germans was a smoker.

A distant BOOM! sounded outside and dust fell from the roof. So much for wishes, he thought. Walking over to the prone German Spy, he reached down and grabbed her by the ear. Ups she came, docile as anyone could be. Years of boarding school discipline had shown Biggles just how to handle such situations.

"Now, see here, my good lady! You and your peasant force of not actual peasants need to scarper off and be done with all this!"

Everyone in the room, including the invisible gibbon turned as one toward Biggles. Getting something right was not in his nature, after all.

"Cuba is under the protection of the United States and always will be! No hostile government will ever be allowed to take up residence ninety miles off the coast!"

"How did you know what we were planning?" asked a subdued Hilda.

"I swiped a copy of the script while the director was at the concessions wagon."

Miyatake came up behind Hilda and gently pulled her away. He was murmuring soothing words in her ear as they fled the room. "There there, my dear! We'll get back at them. We can get posted to some out of the way place where these dreadful people will never go to and plot the revenge we now so richly deserve." Hilda fell in love at that very moment.

"Well, that... was interesting," said Dr Montsnmags as the remaining upright German toppled over from the sheer shock of having a gibbonous headgear screaming in his ears.

"Jolly good!" said Biggles. "Now all we need is a few postscripts and we can all break for lunch, what?"
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Old 12-30-2010, 04:28 PM   #783
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Postscript One

LeTerrible lurched toward the abandoned ice truck. He had discovered a while back that he didn't really need to lurch, but kept it up for the look of things. The truck was standing in a puddle of water. The tropical sun blazed down, bringing the whole thing to equilibrium.

The door was locked, which proved to be merely a second of hindrance. It went wogga wogga wogga, as it landed next to the boarding hose back porch. Scattered across the floor of the truck were hundreds of diamonds.

Now, one of the good things about being a zombie was, obviously, superior strength. The downside seemed to be a lack of visual acuity and hand dexterity. After a few frustrating moments of trying to pick through the diamonds, leTerrible picked up the truck and shook the diamonds onto the ground. Discarding the truck with a huge crash, he stooped over the pile of glittering stones. What he was after had to be there.

And there it was! An obviously larger diamond lay at the edge of the pile. He pushed at it with his hands and lofted it into his palm. As he disappeared in a flash of brilliant light, he cried out, "BRAINZZZZZ!" He really didn't know why.
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Old 12-30-2010, 04:38 PM   #784
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Postscript Two

As she was leaving the Casino after the party broke up, Vera heard a short cough behind her. Turning around, she saw the strange little man wearing the godawful outfit. "Yes?" she asked.

"Pardon me, miss, but I could not help but notice that you were handling yourself quite well in there, just now. Good show, what! One of my duties is recruitment and I was wondering if you'd ever given thought to working as a spy?"

"I hadn't, but my father has. I'm not sure I would be comfortable spying for the British, even though they are our friends, right now."

"Wouldn't think of it myself, old gal! US bred and borne, myself!"

Vera tried to get a handle on the cognitive dissonance. "And?" was all she was able to get out.

"Well, I think it would be a jolly good show if you were join up with our merry little band and put your talents to work in service King and Country, excepting of course, that we don't actually have a King!"

"Right. What's the pay?"

"Two fifty a month and a generous ammunition allowance>"

She pondered for a second. "Done!" She held out her hand, regretting it after she realized there was no way to discretely wipe the dampness off after Biggles had let go.
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Old 12-30-2010, 04:38 PM   #785
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Hmmm. This is getting weird! I suppose the diamonds were hidden in blocks of ice? Clever arrangement. I'll have to remember that for the next time I need to transport diamonds. Champagne on the rocks, any one?
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Old 12-30-2010, 04:44 PM   #786
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Postscript Three

Howard Hughes was a happy man. Well not so happy as if he'd actually gotten a cabin on a luxury liner to get back to New York. One of the squirrels had, apparently, lifted his wallet, so he was forced to get passage for what he could get by selling his luggage. The tramp steamer was badly in need of a good scrubbing.

But he was rid of the Goose and the infernal M.A.R.V.I.N. for good. He could sleep well at night now. And he would, just as soon as he could get to sleep.

He dipped his brush in the bucket of soapy water as the steamer left port. Three square feet adequately clean and only ten or so thousand more to go. He whistled happily to himself as he counted in his head how many strokes he put into each squared off area of the deck.
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Old 12-30-2010, 05:10 PM   #787
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Postscript Four

Harv was trying to teach Vivaldi how to fly. He counted his luck as more on the upswing than usual. Even though he'd crapped out on the second throw, he still was the proud owner of the Goose and some sort of little shack on the coast of Long Island. He made a note to himself to go and visit it someday. Then Vivaldi had proven to be an adequate student, even though he was having problems with the pre-flight checklist.

"Props?"

"I think pshrynk loaded a few of them in the back for the nest installment."

"Not those props! The ones you can see out the window!"

"Well, they're still there, I guess."

"Throttle?"

"Look, just because I'm not getting this doesn't mean you have to make threats!"

"Not throttle you! Throttle, as in engine throttle."

"Oh. Um, check?"

"Flaps?"

"That's a strange word, 'throttle.' I mean, if you throttle a person, you're choking him, but if you throttle an engine, you're making go faster. And don't get me started on 'choke...'"

"FLAPS?"

"Oh, right! Check!"

"Cargo doors?"

"Really, if you choke a person, you're doing pretty much the opposite of choking an engine."

Harv sighed. Bad enough that he now owned a talking dog, he had to own one who questioned the nature of reality. "Would you mind just doing the check list?"

"Check," said Vivaldi, ears laid back.

"Passengers?" Harv felt particularly luck there. Not only did he have his first paying customers, but one of them was Vera. He resolved to get to know her better as days went by. Having Biggles back there was getting to be a bit annoying, what with all the retching from air sickness, and they had yet to take off, even. Just a short hop over to Mexico City to drop off Dr Montsnmags, and then on down to Panama City with the American spies. He was even thinking about setting up shop there. Because there was opportunity there. Definitely not because of Vera going there...

"Six of them, all strapped in."

"Six?"

"Yeah. A couple of socks are hitching a ride. They want a change in climate."

"Right. Radio?"

"Ooh! You'll like this!" The speakers blared with the sound of ska. Harv nodded his head in time with the beat. He could really come to like this!

"What I meant was, is it operational?" At this rate, they might get off the surface of the bay by 1940.

"Well, isn't that obvious?"

"Landing gear?" asked Harv soldiering on.

"Well, we seem to have a boat welded to the bottom of the plane. I guess that's going to have to do."

Harv was quietly beating his head against the yoke. "Close enough. Ignition, and we're off!"

The Goose glided out into the calm waters of Havana Bay and gracefully launched skyward. They passed over a tramp steamer and rose to ten thousand feet. This was some plane, boy!

As the pleasant strains of ska came over the radio, Vivaldi looked at the instrument panel and asked, "I wonder what this button labelled 'M.A.R.V.I.N.' does?"

Click.
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Old 12-30-2010, 05:21 PM   #788
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Last Postscript (Honest!)

Miyatake walked his new bride around the deck of their transport. Budgets being what they were, they were making their way to their next posting by way of New York, then cross country to San Francisco, and then to Panama City. Since Biggles had completely forgotten to file his report, they were not going to be detained at the border.

He felt quite proud as a new husband. His wife was an evil mastermind in the making and he was going to make a big splash in the sabotage arena, himself. He felt happy that the powers in charge had seen fit to give them each a great posting in the thriving area of the Panama Canal. He was just a bit unsure of the budget, though. He had been told to set up a flower shop and fund operations from that. He idly wondered what had happened to all of the diamonds.

As they walked around the deck, they almost tripped over the strange little man who was trying to scrub the entire ship clean and counting to himself. Odd sort of person, that.

Looking up, he saw a peculiar looking plane pass overhead. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn that there was a boat welded to the bottom of the fuselage.



Back in Havana, Fidel Castro was trying to find out what had happened to the two spies who had offered to put him up as the figurehead of a fascist government. It had sounded like a good gig. Better than minor league baseball, at least. But they had disappeared as if into thin air. He sauntered along the quay, practicing his form when a random breeze blew a pamphlet into his face. Pulling it away, he started to read. Hmm, socialism and organization of the workers... He was especially intrigued with the section on parades.
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Old 12-31-2010, 12:33 AM   #789
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Hip, hip, hooray!!! Jolly good show, and all that. What ho?

Very nice finish, complete with tying up all the loose ends *I* can remember.
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Old 01-03-2011, 06:19 AM   #790
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loose ends?
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Old 01-03-2011, 11:48 AM   #791
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loose ends?
Yes, well you know! Those that keep bringing people back to bars and brothels...
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Old 01-09-2011, 09:59 AM   #792
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Yes, well you know! Those that keep bringing people back to bars and brothels...
I thought those were .... erm (sorry, wrong forum )
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Old 01-09-2011, 11:47 AM   #793
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Groan!
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Old 01-10-2011, 09:48 AM   #794
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I thought those were .... erm (sorry, wrong forum )
Wrong site, you mean?
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