1. One thing that immediately catches my eye is "bereft". Generally, bereft is tied to possession, that is, the loss of possession. I wouldn't think itgoes so well with "woman"
. Do you mean bereaved rather than bereft?
Yes, I know that there are secondary meanings that could make bereft appropriate, but it is always best to stick with primary meanings.
2. "on the behalf of" should be just "on behalf of"
3. Not clear to me how territory could be neutral if that is where he will find the resistance. Plus it appears to be on the border between two galactic powers, so is it a separate country that lies between the powers or is the border the border between the 2 powers?
4. If he is heading into battle on behalf of the Alliance, why is he trying to undo what the Alliance has done? Either is working for the Alliance or against the Alliance, or so I would think as a reader.
5. I find the description confusing. I certainly would not be intrigued enough to pay for a copy f the ebook based on the blurb. Free I might give it a try, but not if I had to pay for it. It is unclear to me what Aaron's problems are. If he has nothing left, why is he trying forge a new life and identity? If he is trying to forge a new life and identity, why did he volunteer to go undercover for the Alliance? What could his father have done that was so ant-Alliance that the Alliance would send the son undercover to help the Alliance and not worry about his crusade to right his father's wrongs might unravel things?
Basically, I find myself confused about the book and the blurb doesn't clarify; it confuses.