|
In a way that is what I meant, but not quite.
When you read below, please keep in mind, that I'm just trying to describe what to me felt slightly "wrong" about the story. It's a really good story and well written and I'm very sure I couldn't do it any better.
The story is very well written, but it is a bit...I don't know how to describe this..."too much". It stresses certain points a bit too much and also describes the technology in a slightly "unconvincing way". For example...a woman who had an affair for two years isn't likely to react in quite the fashion you described in the story (at least I think not...). The emotional "drama" is a bit thickly applied which is good for the atmosphere, but not so good for the "believablilty" factor. (I actually went to that site thinking the story was real (a blog entry...^^) and then got the feeling that somehow the woman didn't sound real at all because of the way she described her plight and kept on inserting lines like "...I'm so sorry").
The technology aspect is actually not too far-fetched, but again I'd criticise the fact that it was a bit "thickly applied" but not as badly as the emotional elements.
Her contempt for the detectives is also something that is a bit "overkill" in the presentation...I didn't like the constant useage of "bastards".
On the up:
I really enjoyed the way the case was presented. Using the "Cancer case" as a "frame ", showing the reluctance of insurances to actually pay up...and then the way the detectives worked was very...different. Instead of using simple camera monitoring, taking photos or something you let them track the timings of IM and email, credit card payments...REALLY cool idea and original too. I read a lot, SF and Fantasy being a major part of what I read, but I haven't found that concept anywhere so far.
So, actually the story is really great, apart from some minor "flaws" (at least I see them as flaws) in the emotional and verbal handling of the main charakter.
Thanks for providing this for us to devour while waiting for our ebook readers to arrive...^^
|