[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Okay, here's the situation: My parents went away for a week's vacation, and they left me the keys to the brand new Porche...

(Oh, wait. Different situation. Rebooting now...)

When I started this, I fully expected others to take up the storytelling and take this into unexpected directions. Little did I expect everyone to sit back, grab their popcorn and wait for me to keep going!

Anyway, you did, and pitched me a few things to add to the ride, so I kept writing on-the-fly (and trust me, that's hard to do... little buggers just try to buck you off!), mindful of the fact that I'm actually in the middle of other projects, and didn't have too much time, and finished the story that I started. (Roll--I say, roll credits, boah.)

Or... did I? (Pause--I say, pause credits! Pause, boah!)

Anyway, I'll keep free-associating until I get the knots out of my neurons. But I serve fair notice: This is not pre-scripted, and I don't know where or when it's all gonna end.

(Okay, boah, put--I say, put on reel two.)

***

I looked at the pill suspiciously. "What's it supposed to do?"

Panda-man smiled. "Nothing. It represents a choice. When you take it, you will find yourself waking up, in a wonderful new life, in a wonderful new world!"

"I see," I said. Hesitating another second, I finally popped the pill in my mouth. "See you on the other side," I said to Panda-man.

Then I turned to the girl. "How 'bout a kiss, before I forget that I ever met you?"

"That's not--" she started to say, but I had already pulled her close and planted a good, wet one on her. Having caught her completely by surprise, and she being a woman, she struggled, of course, and when I finally let her go, she glared at me and started wiping her mouth violently.

"Tsk, tsk," Panda-man was saying in the meantime. "Taking advantage of a nice girl? That hardly seems like you--"

He paused when the girl coughed, then wrapped her hand around her throat. "Now, now," Panda-man said, "don't be so melodramatic, girl! He's not all that bad-looking, after all. Maybe a tad overweight..."

His voice faded when he saw how green in the face she was getting. A moment later, his eyes popped, and he looked from me to her. "Oh, c**p..."

He had finally figured out that I had forced the pill into her mouth when I'd kissed her. And neither of them looked too happy about it. In fact, I wasn't sure who looked more panicky, Panda-man, or the girl with the pill down her throat. The question was answered, however, when the girl unexpectedly spun about and grabbed me! She'd wrapped her arms around my neck, and her legs around my torso, pinning one arm before I knew what had happened. And before I could free the arm, or dislodge her with the other one... the world sort of blinked. Everything around me went flat, like it was all a paper sculpture that someone had collapsed back to a single page, and an instant of time suddenly seemed to stretch out to infinity.

It seemed, in the instant between seconds, that somehow I heard the voice... no, more of an echo of the voice... of Panda-man, saying: "Hmph. She never hugged me like that..."