[MickeyC]

This is long but it's worth it!


Harry lived in Winter Harbor and had never been out of the state of Maine in his life. But, one day, he has to go to Boston to sign some papers. So, he takes the bus to Bangor and then the train on down through southern Maine, through New Hampshire and onto Boston.

He gets off the train in Boston and hails a cab asking the driver to take him to a good hotel. “Sure thing”, says the cabbie, and takes him to the Commonwealth Hotel.

Once there, Harry goes up to the desk to inquire as to the availability of a room. “Sorry”, says the desk clerk, “put we’re fully booked. However, if you don’t mind a wait, I might be able to take care of you. You see, this old fella just died up on four. We’re removing the body and cleaning up the room at the moment. So, if you don’t mind staying where a dead man just was, I can put you up for the night. In fact, why don’t you go on into the dinning room and have your supper? By the time you’re done, your room will be ready”

Harry thinks it over and decides he’s so tired and hungry he’ll do it. So, he goes off to the dinning room where the Maitre De shows him to a table and hands him a menu. Then the waitress comes up, dressed in a white skirt and blouse and asks what he’s like for supper. Harry orders the Baked Scrod and Boiled Potato.

“That’s fine“ says the waitress “and would you like some Clam Chowder?”

Harry says no. But the waitress responds, “You might want to reconsider Harry. Our Clam Chowder is reckoned to be the best in the City of Boston. People come from all over to eat it”

Harry still says no.

Then the maitre de comes over and tells Harry that their Clam Chowder is so good it’s thought to be the best in the entire State. In fact people come from as far away as Springfield and even western Massachusetts just to get a taste.

Harry ain’t having the Clam Chowder

Well then the Chef comes out and gets into it with Harry, telling him that he only uses the freshest clams and simmers it for 24 hours and, in fact, it’s considered to be the best Clam Chowder in all New England. People come from all over the Northeast US just to get a bowl.

But Harry says NO.

So the waitress flounces off in her white skirt and fetches Harry his Baked Scrod and boiled Potato. And it is delicious.

After he’s done and paid the bill, Harry goes on out to the front desk and signs the guest register and heads on up to his room on the fourth floor.

And, what with taking the bus from Winter Harbor to Bangor and the train to Boston and the cab to the hotel and arguing with the waitress and arguing with the maître de and arguing with the chef he’s mighty tuckered out. So, he goes straight to bed.

Well Harry ain’t been asleep 30 minutes when the door opens.

It’s a nurse and she ain’t heard the old fella’s died.

Well, before Harry knows what’s happened; down go the bed clothes, down go his pajama bottoms; She gives him an enema.

Well, next morning Harry goes and signs the papers and takes the train back to Bangor and the bus to Winter Harbor.

First thing he does when he gets home is go to see his neighbor Bert.

“Well Harry”, says Bert, “What did you think of Boston?”

“Well Bert”, answers Harry, “If you ever go to Boston and you stay in the Commonwealth Hotel and they offer you the Clam Chowder, you’d better take ‘cause they’re gonna get it into you one way or the other!”