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I think that one of the problems, Don, is that in a forum such as this one has to rely solely on the words. In a face-to-face discussion, you have all sorts of non-verbal cues as to the person's approach - aggressive, friendly, etc. You don't have any of that in this medium, and it's very easy to misinterpret a friendly comment as an aggressive attack. I'm sure that virtually all the "heated discussions" we have here would be perfectly amicable chats if conducted face to face.
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