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Old 01-11-2010, 10:32 AM   #4
Moejoe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joebill View Post
Some years ago I tried to write a short story, but the conversations between the characters was rather... wooden, boring, etc. One of the reasons I started writing poetry instead of fiction.

Does improvement come from practice, are there books that explain how to write good conversations, or is there some other way to learn this ?

Thanks.
I wouldn't worry about making the conversation ring true, or be realistic as a lot of writing coaches tell us. True and realistic dialogue is dull and tedious to read. What you want in any dialogue is tension, the conflict of two opposing wants. You can achieve it any number of ways, in the dialogue itself or even as thought or narration. Compare these examples.


Pass 1:

"Pass the salt," Mikey said.

"This salt here?" Joey said, motioning toward the rack of condiments on the table.

"Yeah, that salt. Pass it over."

Joey picked up the salt and slid it over the table.

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Now, here's exactly the same dialogue but we make the scene interesting:

Pass 2:

"Pass the salt," Mikey said. His nose twitched like a dog about to show its teeth. He glared at Joey, but the dumb f**k wasn't even looking back.

"This salt here?" Joey's beady little eyes travelled only an inch from the print of the newspaper to the condiments on the table. He fired a finger toward the salt cellar.

"Yeah, that salt. Pass it over." The words came out through clenched teeth. Mikey's finger slid in under the trigger guard of the gun he was holding beneath the table.

One in the balls, you *** , for sleeping with her. And one in the kisser just for good luck. You don't deserve a third bullet you f**k.

Joey picked up the salt and slid it across the table.

-----------------------------

As with everything in writing there is no secret key, except for the secret key which I will tell you now: in everything you write, every word, every scene, every chapter, somebody must want something and until the very end, they can't have it.

You change the want and you change the scene.

Pass 3: (In this one Mikey is a star-crossed lover, Joey the object of his love)

Even now as they sat across from one another, so close that he thought he could hear Joey's breathing, Mikey couldn't find the right words. In his mind he'd rehearsed this a thousand times and every time was better than the last. But reality was a different beast.

He opened and closed his mouth three times before he found any words.

"Pass the salt," he said.

She didn't look up. Her eyes flitted from the photographs on the table to the salt shaker and back again.

'This salt here?" she said.

Mikey's face flushed red. Good going, Don Juan, you're a real smooth talker, a real ladies man. Pass the fucking salt? What are you going to do to follow that one up? It'll have to be something damn spectacular if you don't want her to think you're a drooling idiot.

He found some words, they were good words, honest words. Words that would put everything right with the world.

Then he spoke.

"Yeah that salt. Pass it over," he said.

She slid the salt shaker across the table and it was as if she were saying "Goodbye".

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Last edited by Alexander Turcic; 11-19-2010 at 02:40 PM.
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