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I can sympathise with this opening because I, too, have trouble with the opening of my novels. But it's easier to see it in someone else's work.
One of the difficulties I find is that, everywhere you look for advice on writing, you read how important it is to have a strong opening, to grab your reader from the first line. You get given examples of how great books have set their scene perfectly with the first line (but they don't point out that this is exception rather than the rule). I must say I am getting sick of such advice, advice that reads like it makes sense, but you discover that nothing is ever that simple. I would say that while the opening pages of the book should try to gain the readers attention, it is probably more important that you don't put-off or offend your reader (with your writing, is some genres offense in the content may be part of grabbing the reader's attention). Imagine your prospective reader in a bookshop, they've picked up your book because the cover attracted them, and they're about to read the first page. Yes, gaining interest would be good, but offend their reading sensibilities and you will be sure to land back on the shelf.
Perhaps we should instead look to medicine for our advice: first, do no harm. (And then you can worry about doing good.)
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