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Old 10-17-2008, 02:04 PM   #9
Steven Lyle Jordan
Grand Sorcerer
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I've gotta get to the parkway exit, and I'm sooo in the wrong lane. Let's see how this baby jumps... WHOA! That looked like one of the future-cop cars... it suddenly appeared in front of me, trying to cut me off! Sneaky temporal cops and their sneaky temporal tricks! Good thing this V-One turns on a dime... I was just able to swerve around him in time. But if he recovers fast enough, he might still--wait! What a freak thing: He just hit a low-flying pelican crossing the highway! Man, that's gonna stuff up traffic for miles. Um, Penny? You might want to check your traffic avoidance system, it seems to be out of temporal sync by a few minutes.

“I’ll schedule an appointment with Doc Browne, as soon as he returns from his visit to the Smithsonian Crater in 2434.”

Thank you, Penny Youngman. Now I'm on the parkway, and here's where the real twisties start. Penny, play me some hot crime-jazz chase music… something with a lotta horns and cymbals! That’s the stuff! And stop trying to take the wheel whenever I go for a sip of frapuccino! Let's see those cops keep up with me now! With the V-One's low center of gravity, deep lean angle and future-tweaked grippy tires, I can take the curves at pretty much full speed... I can see those cops falling behind in their four-wheel cars, even with (I’m guessing) the same superior tires. Oh, reet! Solid, Jackson!

"Attention: You are severely exceeding the posted speed limit."

I know, Penny, but it's all in the cause of the preservation of knowledge. Not to mention the preservation of my a--

"Warning: Squirrels in road. Take evasive--"

Yikes! Hold on-- Whew! What a ride! And you should have seen the look on those squirrels' faces... I could hear their cartoon-like screams as I swerved around them! But now I've lost some time, and the future-cops have gained on me.

But here's something they didn't count on: The narrow cross-section of this vehicle means that it is small enough to drive on walking trails... whereas those future-cop cars are too wide. Time to lose me some cops!

"Attention: You are leaving the roadway. This officially voids the vehicle's warranty."

Well, those cops may just void my warranty, so...

"Warning: Hikers on trail. Take evasiv/Warning: Deer on trail. Take evasiv/Warning: Bicyclers on trail. Take evasiv/Warning: Joggers on trail. Take evasive--"

I got it I got it I got it I got it I got it! Whoa... what a rush! The radar, lidar, sonar and gravar detection system works like a charm, and as you saw, the heads-up display instantly mapped me a perfect set of maneuvers to keep me from hitting anything. The last jogger doesn’t count… that’ll teach him to zig when Penny expects him to zag. But it’s okay, the carbon-fiber shell and custom nanoparticle paint didn’t even get scratched! How’m I doin’, Penny?

“Estimated time of death: Three minutes.”

Very funny. But I think I lost the cops... at least, I sure can't see them in my rear-view screens...

"That's because they are no longer in a position to be seen in your rear-view screens."

Right, Penny... because I lost them.

"Well, actually, no, you didn't."

But I don't--

"Look up."

Oh, great. Future-cop cars can fly...
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