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I probably would have said something along the lines of "I'll just put my stuff safely up your backside the next time I have to leave an unlocked office. I'm sure it will all be safe there. Maybe if you supplied us with a SECURE place to store belongings instead?"
But that's just me.
Or the good old "Where the HELL should I have put my stuff? If you are in charge of security then you should know our office isn't locked because no one has keys to the door? How about your doing your job properly and stop snooping through personal belongings? Wait a second, is that my shade of lipstick I see on your lips?"
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