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I finished the book about two weeks ago and am finally getting round to contributing to the discussion. That said, there is not a lot I can add to the many erudite and insighful posts that precede me.
As with most other readers, I found the writing exquisite, with many many beautiful similes and allusions. Nabakov had a wonderful command of the English language, all the more impressive considering it was not his first language.
I agree the popular view that Humbert was a misogynist, told mostly through his treatment of the women in his previous relationships. A sociopath with no empathy for anyone else, interested only in satisfying his own desires, and I think this was partly what made the book uncomfortable reading. It is nigh on impossible to empathise or feel anything for him as a narrator and character within the story.
I do disagree, however, with the view that he was not a victim. I think Humbert was a victim, not of a predatory nymphet (I see Lolita as completely blameless throughout), but of his own obsession for Lolita, which ultimately ruined his life and brought about his downfall. The relationship with Lolita did change him - the first person he seems to have treated well, and with an element of respect, was Rita, who he hooked up with during his search for Lolita. It was as though his obsession had overwhelmed the old Humbert, and indeed he treated Lolita and her husband well too, once he finally caught up with them. None of this, of course, exonerates him in any way, and his end was an inevitability that had to see him in prison.
I do want to thank @Bookpossum for picking up on the fact that Dolly died in childbirth. I had missed that fact completely. I'm not sure how knowing that from the start would have shaded my reading of the book (and I guess I never will), but it does add a further poignancy to the difficult life she led.
I am very glad to have finally read it, and the story will stay with me for a very long time, I think.
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