I'll nominate
Shards of Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold.
Quote:
Cordelia Naismith, Betan Survey Captain, was expecting the unexpected: hexapods, floating creatures, odd parasites... She was not, however, expecting to find hostile humans on an uninhabited planet. And she wasn't really expecting to fall in love with a 40-plus barbarian known to cosmopolitan galactics as the Butcher of Komarr. Will Mother ever understand? And can such an odd beast as love survive an interplanetary war?
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This is not your typical romance. In fact, it has a lot going for those that aren't too fond of romance.