Thread: looking for feedback on three novel blurbs
View Single Post
Old 05-17-2013, 02:14 PM   #12
VydorScope
Wizard
VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.VydorScope ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
VydorScope's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,418
Karma: 35207650
Join Date: Jun 2011
Device: iPad
So, the blurb is much better, but it reads rough. It might just be me, the content is great, loads and loads better, but the English feels a bit broken. Maybe its all the hard stops in the flow? Not sure.
VydorScope is offline   Reply With Quote