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I would have done the label this way.
For a girl's beautiful blonde hair
1. Wait until rain storm.
2. Take off clothes.
3. Pour bottle over your head.
4. Lather thoroughly.
5. Step out into the storm.
6. Upon the lighting stroke, scream!
7. Boy friend will rush outside and pick you up.
8. Boy friend will then rush you back inside.
After a while, boy friend will dry you both off.
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