[Agatha Chicken]

[Episode 7]

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath1.
Lit up by the fire, flames circled his laptop,
And sizzled2 each time spam burst with a pop!

Sure enough, thick clouds of fragrant smoke were billowing3 from the corner. Without hesitating, Mr. Jellby picked up the punch bowl and hurled its contents onto the flames!

As everyone coughed and wiped their streaming5 eyes, Jellby made another check mark on his clipboard "No pesky6 analysis of that punch now. Another tragic holiday accident."

ravenne entered the room carrying a large bottle, took one look at the corner and pronounced "I'm not cleaning THAT up! No way! You don't pay me enough!" and marched back into the kitchen.

THAT was
Dr. Drib, smoldering7 in his chair, clutching his laptop still, and very, very dead! And now covered in green slimy punch.

dreams sank to the floor, overwhelmed by yet another Christmas casualty! Could this really be happening? Or was it a hideous8 nightmare from which she couldn't awaken?

"Oh my, oh my, oh my" murmured Mr. Jellby, making rapid checkmarks on his clipboard. "Smoking is such an unhealthy habit! And to smoke a pipe whilst sitting in a comfy chair next to the fireplace - where you're guaranteed to nod off 9..... why it's like smoking in bed and paying the price! Yet one more tragic holiday accident! Tsk!"

"Did he drink the punch?" asked Nate the great? "What do you think? Was he dead before he went up in flames?"

WT Sharpe was bending over the corpse and sharply exclaimed "Accident my foot. Dr. Drib was murdered! Look! There's a big hole in the back of his head! And shaped just like a hammer ...."

"Hey dreams, where did you put the hammer you used to hang up the stockings?" asked
DaleDe?

"I put it down on the mantelpiece .... right here ....." replied dreams. "But, but, but .... it's gone! I swear I left it right here! Someone must have found it and used it to .... *sob* hurt Dr. Drib!"

Alex examined the body alongside WT Sharpe "When he was struck, his pipe must have fallen out of his mouth .... onto his sweater ... setting it on fire. The murderer shoved the pipe back into his mouth! What a cold, calculating monster!"

"Remember all those jokes we used to make about Dr. Drib? How much he loved to zap those spammers?" asked Nate. "What did you call it dreams? Dr. Drib using his 'spam hammer' to splat those spammy posts?"

"Why?" sobbed dreams "Why is this happening? Who could hate us this much?"
"And why is everyone staring at me? I didn't do it! I'm the nice moderator! I like everyone! Everybody loves me! I'm being framed! I was just teasing you guys! I didn't mean it! "


HarryT stepped forward and draped10 a rug 11over the smoking remains "Well, he's dead .... we don't need to continue staring at him." "And dreams, no one is accusing you .... yet. We need to gather the evidence ... if we can find any ... and figure out what is going on here tonight."

"You've read all the classic mystery novels, HarryT! What do we do now?" asked Alex.

"Well, for safety, we should all stick together. No one should ever be allowed to be on their own for the rest of the night." replied HarryT. "Of course, this will also allow us to keep an eye on each other. Obviously, one of us is the murderer!"

When HarryT uttered these ominous words, all heads swiveled12 towards dreams, who shrieked and tried to run from the room.

"Not so fast dreams" exclaimed WT Sharpe, who stopped her from accidentally running into the fireplace. "Be careful! You almost committed accidental suicide by fireplace! You can't escape suspicion that way!"

"Everybody -- sit down now - we have to make plans if we're to survive tonight!" shouted Alex.

*ahem* "Excuse me Mr. Alex .... we have to return to the home office ... you will need to sign some additional forms for these new ..... *ahem* losses. All completely covered by your Accident Policy." Mr. Jellby interrupted, glaring at the others, daring anyone to disagree with his continued insistence on multiple (yet regrettable) accidental deaths.

"And I must go to the library! I just have to get these typos corrected before tonight's reading!" declared HarryT. "Our holiday must go on -- in honor of our fallen comrades."

"And I have to clean up my Wiki-Blocks" wailed DaleDe. "They've got green slime all over them."

Nate the great said nothing. He was busy trying to sneak some of Santa's cookies from the plate next to the glass of milk.

Alex stared around him. "Are you all crazy? We're fighting for our lives! No one is safe! No one is above suspicion!"

NO ONE!

[End of Episode 7]

1 wreath: Kranz
2 to sizzle: knistern
3 to billow: wabern
4 to hurl: schleudern, werfen
5 streaming: tränend
6 pesky: ärgerlich, nervtötend
7 to smolder: schwelen
8 hideous: abscheulich
9 to nod off: einnicken
10 to drape: drapieren
11 rug: Vorleger, Teppich
12 to swivel: sich drehen