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Originally Posted by Alm Hlgh
I would sincerely love it if you take a peek at it and yay: criticize, criticize, criticize. It is truly hard to find good editors. I welcome all.
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He wanted to bolt out of that office, the minute he had finished wiping his feet on that straw mat; but still he knew he wasn’t going anywhere soon. [...]
The truth told Dean Baldwin didn’t have the authority to kick him out of the program. Scotty knew it and he smugly smiled to himself; this program was sweet he thought. [...]
The Professor a tall, redheaded freckle faced man was a Harvard Grad who wore Harry Potter’s glasses. A massive pile of oodles of paper nearly hid him. [...]
“Always daddy’s lil girl,” Monique her mother quibbled as she rolled her eyes.
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Taken from various points on the first page. Not nearly everything that's wrong, but there's a lot of improperly used punctuation and missing punctuation, tense changes mid-sentence, and vocabulary misuse ("quibble" doesn't mean whatever you think it means). Also a lot of infodump description of the dean's office that didn't belong.
I know you're soliciting editing feedback here, but this is in really rough shape.