[Greg Anos]

I rolled into the office the next mornin', feeling almost optimistic. Since I'd showered and changed, Mrs Slocum let me stroke her a few times before bouncin' onto the floor.
Mindy looked up. "You've got a call waiting. State Department."
Oh no. Not again.
I zipped back to my desk, pronto. "Red speakin'."
"Mr. Edward, we have a slight problem with a person said to be in your employ."
"How slight?" I knew I wasn't gonna like the answer.
"Apparently, the customs agent decided to frisk Ms. Deb." Oh bleep.
"Umm. How long do the croakers think it'll be before he gets out the fix-it shop?"
"If you mean the hospital, a couple of week, if you mean the hospital and rehab, a couple of months."
"Well, at least she was feelin' friendly."
"That's friendly, Mr. Edward?"
"I'm afraid so. If she was in a bad mood, you'd a been talkin' to the next of kin."
"Exactly what sort of criminal record does the young lady have."
"That's easy, no convictions."
"That doesn't sound particularly reassuring, Mr Edward."
"It's as good as you get in Chicago. Shucks, the new president doesn't have any convictions either. And he's from Chicago, too."
A long pause at the other end. "I'm not certain you're being particularly helpful."
"So far, all I've had a chance to do is answer questions. Is she in the calaboose?"
"The what?"
"Is she currently incarcerated?" I figgered I'd better use the big words to match that big ego I was dealin' with.
"Suprisingly enough, you name seemed to act as a talisman. They called the Embassy, who sent me."
"Can you pass me over the head honco there?"
A French-accented voice said, "Is this Sir Sir Ralph Sir Edward?"
"It is. To whom do I have the honor of speaking with?"
"Monsieur Vutton."
"Monsieur Claude Vutton, Holder of the Gold Cluster for honorable service to Her Majesty, Zelda, Queen of Pinwheel?"
"The very same."
"Despite apperances, I am dealing with a matter of delicacy for the Kingdom. I cannot speak further, you must understand. I have been returned to Her Majesty's Service by VivaldiRules."
"The talking dog?"
"The very same. Shall I have him contact you over this matter?"
"It is not necessary. A private decree to Her Majesty's servants, by Her Majesty herself, that VivaldiRules should be given any and all assistance as if he were Her Highness. He is currently now an acting Viceroy. I trust what you have said it true."
"Thank you. I apologise for the short temper of my assistant. She does not take well to, how shall I say, overly vigorous searches."
"Privately, between Servants of Her Majesty, the officer involved has a history of using his office for, well, personal satifaction. Perhaps when he returns, he will become more considerate in carrying out his duties. Or at least more cautious."
"If you would be able to quiet down this affair, it would be helpful for the matter at hand."
"But of course, Sir Edward. Anything else?"
"May I speak with the lady involved?"
"Let me pass the phone."
"That you, Red."
"Yep. Big as life and twice as ugly. And speaking of ugly, I hired you to do quiet legwork, not bust up the Kingdom."
"Anybody who sticks his hands where that Bozo did without an invite, isn't going to have a hand left, next time!"
"Ok,OK! I've settled down the feathers, and you won't go to the calaboose, this time, but remember, this is a legwork assignment, not John Wayne at Normandy. Keep the body count down."
A more contrite, "OK, Boss."
I then laid out the extra legwork pointing to Oz.
"Remember to check out private jets in the time frame. I don't think they flew commercial. Too risky. At the end of your legwork, go to the Palace and ask to see Poo-Bah to one of the guards. That's code for the counter-intellegence officer of the day. Mention VR and me and ask him to spread out the check thru the rest of the EU for private planes heading to Oz in the time period. I don't want you to reveal yourself to them officially until then. And just keep track of the shadows, don't send 'em to Valhalla this time. 'Course, you may want to question one or two of 'em, I'll leave it at your discretion, if you have any."
"Right, Boss."
"And send me a postcard! Now let me talk to the Foggy Bottom idiot."
"You wish to speak with me, Mr. Edward?"
"Yes. I've smoothed of the ruffled feathers, and have gotten Ms. Deb released without charge. I don't want to hear this incident going up the chain any further."
"I'm afraid you really have no authority to make that request."
"I hear the weather's nice in Zimbabwe this time of year."
"Are you trying to threaten me."
"Shucks, no. Just trying to get you promoted. I'm certain that if I put in a good word for you with, and I mentioned a name, you'll have that promotion lickety split."
I could just hear the back stiffening over the phone. "I doubt if you ever spoken with that person." came the frosty response.
"One way to find out. When I tell him how you've help improve relationships with Pinwheel, I might even be able to squeeze you an Ambassadorship. I hear St. Helena needs an Ambassador."
A long pause. "I don't think I'm ready for such a lofty appointment. And my shot aren't really current for Zimbabwe. I think the nation would be better served by my helping to maintain the execellent relations between the U.S. and Pinwheel. I'm certain that with this matter so amiciably settled, there is no need to mention up the diplomatic chain."
"Well, let me know if I can help your career in any other way. Otherwise, with everything settled, I'll let you go. Y'all have a nice day."