The way Stanza works is to register a BonJour service that the iPhone then detects and connects to. Something in the network setup of your computer is preventing calibre from setting up its own BonJour service. Judging by the error message probably because calibre's BonJour server can't find the ip address/hostname of the computer it is running on.
Note that you don't actually need to have the BonJour server running, as itmpi mentioned above, you can manually enter the calibre server address in your iPhone. See the calibre FAQ for detailed instructions on how to do this.
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