WHAT THE BUTLER SAW ......
GETTING INTO A JAM
PART PRIMUM
Jeeves' right eyebrow crept up his forehead exactly one-eighth of an inch as he replied "Beg pardon mum, my name is Jeeves. Always has been. Jeeves. At your service."
Zelda's mind reeled at this new apparition, but she rallied and began questioning the new version of Jeeves.
"Jeeves, please confirm to ravenne that there is a body in the hallway by the stairwell, and that pshrynk has been bludgeoned to death with a wine bottle."
Jeeves' eyes briefly flickered (with regret?) as he replied "Beg pardon mum. I am unable to confirm those statements. There is no body in the hallway. And pshrynk was not bludgeoned with a wine bottle."
Zelda fell thunderstruck back into her chair, as ravenne anxiously fanned her and offered her another glass of wine. Zelda pushed aside the proffered wine and shrieked: "You saw it! We saw it! You took the bottle!"
"Are you denying pshyrnk is dead?"
"Why no mum," replied Jeeves calmly. "Master pshrynk is indubitably dead. But there is no body in the hallway."
Shakily, Zelda asked "Where. Is. The. Body?"
"In the kitchen, mum, next to the refrigerator. Shall I convey you there to demonstrate?"
Completely overcome by events, Zelda allowed herself to be led docilely back into the hallway.
"Hey Zelda, feel free to drop in the next time you're in town!" chirped the now-blotto ravenne, as she slammed and locked her door.
As Jeeves turned to enter the hallway, Zelda noticed the index card had been re-attached to the door, but now read "do not disturb" "this means you Zelda".
Jeeves led Zelda through another set of twisting hallways, dimly lit by the continuing storm's jagged lightning. One particularly brilliant flash revealed a small red dot on Jeeves' otherwise flawlessly white collar, just below his left ear. But before she could inquire about it, they had reached the kitchen door.
Jeeves paused and softly intoned "I must warn you -- this isn't a pretty sight. Not really suitable for a lady to view at all."
"ça va, j'ai l'habitude ; on se fréquentait pas mal de son vivant."
Slowly, the massive oak door opened, into a dark kitchen filled with the menacing shadows of monstrous appliances and racks of knives. There was a large pile of bloody white chicken feathers on the drainboard, next to some greenish rags.
Jeeves advanced his candle into the room, revealing a body stuck to the floor in a congealing red puddle. Awash in a feeling of distinct and highly unpleasant déjà vu, Zelda slowly approached the corpse. Once again, pshrynk's body lay face down in the puddle, a paperback book clutched in his outstretched hand.
As she knelt next to the body, she was badly startled by a voice coming from the darkness on the other side of the body. "Hey Zelda, didn't know you were in town. Watch what you're doing! I'm almost done with my latest flower painting - I call it 'Rose Rendered in Strawberry Jam' -- have a gander."
Jeeves advanced his candle to reveal kennyc on his hands and knees putting the finishing touches on a finger painting of a rose in the rapidly solidifying red medium. Zelda sniffed -- sure enough -- pshrynk was lying in a huge pool of strawberry jam!
"Hey Jeeves -- be careful with that jam jar! I might need some more to finish the last petal here."
Zelda looked up to see Jeeves holding up a huge, institutional-sized jar of strawberry jam that had a starburst of cracks running up one side.
"I wonder how this jar sustained such damage" mused the manservant. "It was undoubtedly intact the last time I saw it earlier this evening. It must have contacted an extremely hard object whilst traveling at a high rate of speed."
"C'est vrai qu'il avait la tête dure, le pshrynk..."
"But I'm sure she only dropped it due to its vast weight when startled by the thunder, rather than deliberately direct it at Pshrynk." continued Jeeves, as he handed the jar over to kennyc's eager fingers. "Although there was quite an unprecedented clash of temperaments in here during the storm."
Zelda looked up from her efforts to loosen the paperback book from pshrynk's sticky hand, and softly asked "Who dropped it Jeeves?" "Ravenne?"
"Why were YOU here, and what exactly did you witness?"
[Will Jeeves put the finger on ravenne?]
[Might there be another *gasp* suspect lurking in the wings?]
[Did kennyc record the image of the killer in jam?]