"Captain Jack might be cool, but you certainly are not you sniveling piece of deep fried dung! Piracy does not help ANYONE...and how am I supposed to feed my 10 kids when you keep steeling from me? I hope you rot in the deepest, slimiest pit of hell...and then DON'T even get the privilege of coming back as a somewhat cool Walking Dead zombie!!
For those who didn't pirate this - nevermind..."
That would at least get their attention...give them a little humor and they might not ignore it like they ignore all the other dry notices. They may even respect the attempt and go purchase the book!!