This is going to sound totally random, overly long, and a bit off topic but downloading Maupassant reminded me of something. Consider this a recommend short story if you must.
In High School we were assigned Maupassant's 'The Necklace' to teach to the class. Our group consisted of myself, two friends, and unfortunate guy that got stuck with us by the teacher- This guy, I shall now call 'Tom.'
My one friend, said we should recreate the story using her Barbies. I actually thought that was a horrible idea. Heck, admitting you
still had Barbies in HS was sounded like a horrible idea, but my two friends were set on it and Tom was apathetic about the whole assignment. So Barbies it was. We worked out that instead of diamonds for a beaded necklace she would trade in Barbie's pink convertible for a Barbie scooter. I promised I'd write up a script in time for class tomorrow.
This, of course, meant I wrote it all in study-hall right before class, giving us no time to practice or review what I wrote.
So there we stood in front of a class of our peers; three losers and one reluctant guy playing with Barbies. My script was silly and over the top. I'd removed all Maupassant's subtle story telling and masterful command of human motivation and replaced it with a freight train of telegraphed dialogue designed to get the idea across as quickly and as obviously as possible. Titters could be heard from the students as Barbie tottered across the stage through flashbacks of her youth, getting bamboozled by the slimy used car salesman, and eventually 'vrooming' away in her new/used scooter.
Then the moment came when she confronts Ken, her husband, with her ridiculous purchase, exclaiming something like, "Honey, you know that new Mercedes you just bought me? I got an amazing deal! I swapped it for a scooter like I had in college. The salesman only charged me $15,000 for it with the trade in, isn't that great!"
There in my script Ken's reaction read,
Ken: "What! I... need to sit down."
I realized at that moment, that this was a very poor choice of words for a character lacking knees. I actually panicked a bit, but Tom just read his lines with a shocked voice. Then with a surprising show of initiative, Tom, forced Ken bodily into a sitting position. Feet out, arms akimbo, Ken plopped down before his wife in a complete failure of grace and emotional expression. Our audience exploded with laugher.
Muffled giggles continued even after the play was finished and as the teacher tried to ask us about the themes of the story.
It was epic example of 4 slackers slacking.
One reviewer declared it, 'The best thing I've ever seen!'
The End. I'm sure Maupassant would have been proud.