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My answer is that "cheating" (with respect to sex) is going outside of whatever ground rules a couple has established. The US seems to have an idealized set of ground rules, and no (public) admission that any other rule set is legit. Perhaps it's that puritan part of our heritage, or something. In any case, whatever rules you set up as a couple, violating those rules is "cheating."
Xenophon
(It's that small-l libertarian thing again...)
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