Originally Posted by kfarmer
I'd love to. When/if that ever happens.
They finally got back to me. I have to check something at home as a workaround, but apparently they've recently discovered that their (or Adobe's? or both?) software doesn't like to have My Documents mapped to a UNC share (as I most certainly do). However, if it's mapped to a drive letter, apparently that resolves the issue of the software hanging on startup.
Of course, this isn't a bug *fix*, which they're apparently still looking into. If anybody else is still having the same issues I did, you might try that and report back. I'll be emailing them letting them know whether the UNC vs drive mapping problem applies to my case.