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Old 12-08-2009, 07:42 AM   #1
mvisconte
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Location: An imperfect world
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Messed-up Myths, and Aimless Morals

A departure from Fracture Fairy Tails.

I studied Greek in college. My favorite myth was Silliphuss, who had angered the Fraternity Gods, and was destined to push a peanut up hill with his nose, day after day during pledge drive. As soon as he got it to the top, his little sister, Hystrung, would distract him, and the peanut would roll down the other side. Silliphus was a business major, and Hystrung was majoring in Husbandry (albeit, concentrating on the mechanics first, instead of the logistics).

Hystrung was trying to trap Sillfuss by using her pheminine wiles (along with powerful spells, phenominal aromatic potions, and much camoflage and some structural support garments). Her dream was to lure him into an extended legal union, resulting in a selective number of offspring, new or nearly-new cross-over vehicles each year, trips to Atlantic City, and positions of power in the PTA and Neighborhood Homeowners Association.

But Hystrung was cursed by the goddess Revlon so that she could not pass a reflective surface without her reflection captivating her -- causing hours of primping, missed Chemistry exams, and lots of angst from the non-sorority females.

It had never occured to Hystrung that Silliphus would graduate before her, and cast her and her Spring Break Moments aside with his used Econ 101 textbooks.

His dream was at least a B average, introduction to a lower-level management position, and hopefully, a relationship with a senior partner's (relatively) attractive daughter.

But the Gods laughed. And Laughed.

Hystrung almost flunked out and daddy said he wouldn't pay for another year, so she got serious, studied Commercial Fashion Design, and wound up marrying a rather plain, but very nice, man from a local community college. She never went to NYC to design, but she did make it to Myrtle Beach once, and she was pretty much aghast at what those young women were wearing! Didn't they have any sense of decency? Self-Respect? MOTHERS!? As time went on, she developed a taste for sweat pants and loose shirts. She still practiced her magic, to her spouse's delight, but not to the point of the two-some. At least while the kids lived at home.

Silliphus DID go on to find the perfect position, and rose meteorically from lower-management into the lower-middle-management stratosphere. He dated the owner's not-spectacularly hot, but unfortunately spoiled daughter.

The Gods smiled on him and she dumped him for a current model Morris Mini -- with daddy picking up the payments. He then went on to notice male pattern baldness, decided that he'd better develop a personality before all of his hair was gone. Hew met a local waitress who was studying real estate nights, and the two fell deeply in love. Silliphus discovered that afternoons at little league practice was pretty good, and the winners got ice cream afterwards, but the other team also got ice cream, and the parents paid for it all, and it was really a small cost to see his son smile. He had a natural propensity for calming little girl's nightmares, kissing skinned knees, and the magical ability to set his face into a 1000-yard-smile during dance recitals.

And what about our narrator, the real hero of this tale. He waited and watched, batting clean-up at least twice at frat parties -- although only one will he talk about to this day. He became "la tranquilidad", "el oyente". Helping out, cleaning up after the parties, walking the "left-overs" girls back to their dorms -- which he never talked about, but it was rumored that he was very well paid. As those girls grew from petty, self-centered, vapid, low-class, Vanna wanna-be's into girls that had to pass mid-terms, and then finals... and then graduate. They dropped their Conquor-The-World (or at least Marry Well While in College) Dreams. They would go on it Get entry -level jobs in local technical firms, study nights for a comp-sci degree, move into scripting and web page design, fall in love, settle down, have kids and be much happier than if they were married to some very-kinky, up-tight, publicly-green- but secretly black-consciousness, worried, balding, insecure business major.

And the Gods smiled.
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