Originally Posted by ravenlife
Oh now that is most annoying, I ask for advice, you give it and then tell me to ignore you and write what I want. Sigh.
I'm kidding I love the feedback, I personally liked the use of the present tense for the dream sequences, especially once I thought on it some, however although Im writing for my own kicks I would still like someone else to like/enjoy it, if the present tense puts the reader outside of the story then it doesn't work.
I personally hate it when I find myself pulled out of a narrative due to the writers choices, so I am very greatful for the help
That's the problem with advice and writing; it's such a personal journey, you'll end up trying all kinds of tips and tricks and discarding most of them over time. And even then you'll feel wrong about half of the time. I don't know if you learned to swim in the same manner as I did, but it was just a matter of diving into the deep end and getting used to the water. Writing is often the same way, I believe, you've just got to dive in, put your work out there and see what the reaction is