View Single Post
Old 08-13-2009, 04:46 AM   #5
ravenlife
Connoisseur
ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.ravenlife ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
ravenlife's Avatar
 
Posts: 55
Karma: 499658
Join Date: Nov 2008
Device: PRS505
oh actually I like some of that (not all of it )

however I can see what your showing me, your's is much tighter and flows alot better (in my mind)

i will fiddle with this part after work (as I wasn't happy with it, hence my post) and try to bring a little of that discipline into my first chapter

Thanks Naomi, if you think of any other pointers feel free to let me know

i'll post up some more when I have it
ravenlife is offline   Reply With Quote