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Old 01-04-2009, 05:24 PM   #13
MickeyC
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Posts: 14,654
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Northern Virginia, USA
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Guy goes to his barber shop for a haircut.

“What are you squirming around so much for?”, his barber asks

“My wife and I are going on vacation tomorrow and I’m excited”, relies the customer

“Where you going?”, asks the barber

“Italy”, says the customer

“Italy?” responds the barber, “Italy…cripes. Unbearably hot, expensive, arrogant people. How you getting there?”

“Um, TWA”, answers the customer

“Oh yeah, TWA, The Worst Airline! It’ll be crowded, you’ll be jammed into coach. “

“Where you staying?”

“Uh, the Rome Hilton” stammers the customer

“Cripes, that’s the worst hotel! No views, it’s expensive and the staff is arrogant. And what do you think you’re going to do in Rome anyway?”

“Well, we want to visit Vatican City and I was hoping to meet the Pope” answers the customer

“Yeah, right! Here’s how that’ll work: You’re on one side of Vatican Square and over on the other, up on a balcony about the size of a flea, stands the pope. Yeah, you’ll meet the Pope!”

So, dejected, the guy leaves the barbershop. Three weeks later, he’s back for another haircut.

“Well how was Italy?” asks the barber

“Man, it was great. The weather was perfect, food excellent and Italians have to be the friendliest people on earth.”, the customer tells him

“Yeah, well how was that TWA flight?”

“Oh, let me tell you, it was oversold and we got bumped up to First Class. So, it was sip Champagne and nibble toast points all the way to Rome”

“Hmmm”, responds the barber “Well, how was that Hilton ?”

“Oh, man what a great deal we got! They just opened a new wing and we were the first guests to stay in it so they comp-ed it to us, no charge. And it had a magnificent view of the Tiber and the Hills of Rome and the staff couldn’t have been nicer.”

“Well” grumps the barber “how about the Pope. Meet him did ya? Ha, ha”

“Well, let me tell you what happened. I’m walking through the Vatican when one of the guards comes up to me. ‘Scuzie Signore’, he says to me ‘you know the Pope, the Papa? Well every day he sends us, the Vatican Guards out to pick one tourist at random to meet the Pope. So, I’ma picking you. So, you want to go meet the Pope or what?’ the guard asks me

“Wait a minute” says the barber incredulously “Are you telling me you had a one-on-one with the Pope?’

“Yeah,” says the customer “I sure did”

“Well” stammers the barber “what did he say?”

“Well” answers the customer “he looked me right in the eye and said ‘Where’d you get the shitty haircut!”
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