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Old 05-13-2013, 08:38 AM   #3
BeccaPrice
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#3 can be edited down:

Quote:
#3) The Find

Thirty-two-year-old cleaning lady, Phoebe Jackson, is going down fast. She had to quit college when her husband left her. She works a twelve-hour graveyard shift at a mobster-frequented health club. Every month is a struggle just to make rent. The last straw is when her youngest daughter becomes desperately ill and Phoebe can’t afford health insurance.

That’s why finding a bejeweled Rolex in one of the mobsters’ lockers has her deciding to pawn it.

But the watch is a fake and the mobster finds out she took it.
i do think you needs one better last line. What happens when she finds the watch is a fake etc?
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