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Old 04-09-2013, 02:19 AM   #5196
mvisconte
pHilosopher kIng
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Location: An imperfect world
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Enuf for a pie hole

Oy, Simon!
Ow ar' ye, mate? Yah?
Lissin, need a favvor, righ?
Oi needs some poi.
Yeah.
Yeah.
NO I'm no' shi'in ya.
Roight. Serus. Oi. Need. Poi!

Well, ar, I dunno. I hadn go' tha far. Its for a bloke oi know, kinder, a Bilbo. He's a... pieman, jes loik you, eh?

Just poi. Ah, yer cud. Ow much? 'Ell, nuf ta fill a poi hole, roight?

Ah. I don' know, akchewly. Nivver laid oys on tha' buggar.

Fa! Ow big cannit be, roi? Heh. Lemme lookup somat.

Blimey, 'cordin' ta this, e's a biggun, uh gian ov some sort. No, really. Lookee'ere this Karma. Fi recall, tha' make him... Eh, fideen, sideen stone, oy?

Nah, ya took bigger mun than a' bugger. Na, doan ye worry ye hed aboot.
Nah, we'll farm it out, so's ta speak. We makes it, we takes it 'n gives it ta Bilbo. E takes it from there. Well, 'cuz he's a baggins. How'dell I know whadit mean? E'S A BAGGINS! Well, 'is firs' noam's Bilbo, aight? No, I saw it. All one word. Bil-Bo. Oy, n' e's only 3 foot tall! Ow'd ya lik-a tie in ta thet Oy! He's whup yeras good! Fink on it, 'e taken on a feller ov almos' tweny stone, 'n ya see HIM quiverin!? No. No, actuly, I ain't seen 'im quiver, eaver.

Ya, we jus "source" tha' poi, an' leave it to the nutter to hoist it up to 'im.

Ya. Now, wha' kind'll we get?

Choclit? I dinno, choco's fine 'n all, but I'm tapped 'til Wensdy next. Nooo, she caugh me fishin in her bag, she'd break 'er own leg off ta beat me w'id. No, we got'a go sly. Oy, wha bout Bob? Bob. Yer ONCLE? Ya, "tha wun in Somerset!" Ow many oncles ya go'? For tha ma'ar, how many Bob's ya got unner yer coat? Pish.

Yeah, call 'im. Sure'ill r'memer yoo... yer is favrit, righ? W'as 'e raise agin? Sides rug-rags. Oohoo? Yippy-eye-ay Cow paddy! So, choco's diffinitely oot, n' 'bif surpriz" z on the menu!



Coo, I din' spect tha' kine-a respection. At least 'e din' thre'in a comat us! Pish, you canna run any fasser 'n 'im n E's go' a wheelchar! Yah, well, battery or no, you'd go down in tha firs' quar mile. So, we set? E said we can cum n git a front-loader of it? Wha ya thin', 'bout 10 stone? Ah, wall, we'll use as much as we can scoop. If we go shy, we'll impovervise n' cover w/ grass 'n ey.

Hooee! Naw aww we need is a crust. I dinno, 'ow much ya reckon for a 3/4m wide pan? Ayah... that'd work, two three loaves. Call op Coxie 'n tell 'im we need a borrow an orse tub. No, he'll ge a kick, I knoo.

Ah... no, I niver bake afore eiver. Can' be too 'ard, ever'body does it.

How hot? Sky! I look lak a caker t you? Nah, I got it all figured. Widder Haller bin want'n me more the far-wood from near the shed. Sed it's boggy, and she wan's it burnt. Ya. So, see, birds! Birds all burned up ina hand, see? Well, no, cuz their bugs, but if they wuz birds, then I'd have them in my hand, see? Oh, so what.

Oi found some old bread fo the crust. Yeah, just lay it out. o'er the bo'um, n' op th' sides. Ooo, two dep meby. Priddy, righ?

Noo, COXIE! CAN YE DRIV TA THENG? YA, OVER TAHAR. WE PUT TH' TUB DOON, N' FEELED IT W/ BREAD. YA, WE SAVE YA A SLICE. K,

Ya, no, gi' a GUD SCOOP! WALL, WE GOT THE FAR FOR IT. WE PUT THE BUCKET UP TOP THE FARWOOD, SO's LIF n' DUMP! YEAh.
NO! WIDDER HALLER AIN' BE HAPPY, WE GOTTA PUT OUT THE SHED!
PUT OUT THA SHED!

Crimeny! NOT PULL! PUT!!! PUT OUT NOT PULL DOWN. SEEFER! I'LL not hear th' end o' this, I tell ya.






Lissen, Bilbo, ahhh... can ye do us a favvor? oh, no much, we jes need ye to go by someat's 'ouse 'n claim a sartain pie we made. No, we're... out o' town just yet, n' we'lln't be beck afore Sondy. Oh, ef, you kn keep it. Oh, no. Really. ittuz a sprize for ye. No, do as ye like. Oh sure, share around, I'm sure. Jes 'member, we're misterous benefaccers, n' we doan' wan oor goot names out 'it, ya? I recommen' goin' in th' evenin, as the light's failin'... and back in all quiet, load up, and don' waste any time. I mean, thur simple folk, n' mos' likely asleep, and need ther res.

Goot on ya, mate.

Well, ENJOY -- but, eh, better let th' other folks get the firs bites, eh?





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