LOL! Carcking me up! We don't need no steeenkin' Newtons or Einsteins, we got it all figured out right here.
Let's make the little flat natives wear funny outfits to worship services. And change them pretty often, sort of like paperdolls. And let's keep a monopoly on religious garb, call it "designer," and threaten everlasting punishment by feather tickling to anyone caught counterfitting.